...by the way...

Per a suggestion made by Hizzy, I have created the "BugJuice Web Log (Blog)". It is a forum of Juicers. It is linked to your right...

...several random topics...

Heather’s birthday is tomorrow. I need to wrap her presents still. At least I’m not so lazy as to not have bought them yet. I love you, babe!

I remembered another dream (sort of).

Dream sequence: I was driving around this small town, which had a large city in the middle, but somehow I could still see across the entire area. A series of large tornadoes kept popping up all over the place, and I was dodging them inside my car and even getting out of the car and grabbing people as they flew by to save them. If it had been a movie, it would have been worth the money you would pay for it. There were lots of buildings being literally ripped apart by these tornadoes. End sequence.

I’m sorry I stole your troll joke, Campo. I just thought it was funny. “BLOOOOOOOOOOOOGG!!!!!!!!!”

The weekend cannot get here fast enough for me.

Less than one week until the Friday the 13th Box Set comes out. I’m very excited! Check it out:

Friday the 13th Films.com

In honor of this, I’m including a list of all the actors that played Jason Voorhees. Enjoy! (Yes, I am a hardcore Friday fan.)

Friday the 13th – Ari Lehman
Friday the 13th Part 2 – Warrington Gillette III
Friday the 13th Part 3 (3-D) – Richard Brooker (one of the better Jasons, IMO)
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter – Ted White (his name didn’t appear in the credits, at White’s request)
Friday the 13th: A New Beginning – Tom Morga (most of the Jason scenes), Richard Wieand (when Jason is ‘unmasked’)
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives – C.J. Graham
Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood – Kane Hodder
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan – Kane Hodder
Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday – Kane Hodder
Jason X – Kane Hodder
Freddy vs. Jason – Ken Kirzinger

I’m making my best attempt to make it to karaoke at O’Leary’s tonight. I haven’t been in awhile, and I kind of miss doing it.

I have seen Nick Wilson’s child, Geordi. If you would like to see him, go to the Hizzy blog and click on her link. I still can’t believe that he named his son after a Star Trek character. What does that spell, folks? D-O-R-K…“Pussy Viking.”

Here’s something IRONIC: Beaver has jumped on the “Geordi is an ugly baby” bandwagon. ‘Nuff said.

Tonight is the presidential debate between George W. Bush and John Kerry. In St. Louis time, it’s at 8:00 PM. I’m going to watch it. I can’t wait to see what Bush has to say for his actions in office. He’s enough of an idiot at public speaking as it is, so this should be amusing at his expense. I predict Kerry will tear him apart in this debate. I can’t wait to see a stuttering, stammering, public speaking inept G.W.; this is going to be good.

Quote of the Blog: “A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

...an odd dream I had...

I don’t often remember my dreams in great detail. This morning, I did…

Dream Sequence:

Prelude: I’m doing yard work at a house that I don’t recognize, but looks like it’s in South St. Louis City. Two girls, which I somehow KNOW are lesbians, come out and make small talk with me. They hint at having me come in and join them for fun, and I drop my work and follow them. Next thing I know, they disrobe and I start to do stuff to one of the girls. All of a sudden, the girls turn into Heather and her friend, Michelle. End prelude.

First scene: I’m walking throughout various rooms in a large house. There’s a large storm going on outside, the kind you see in cheesy horror flicks. Several computer monitors are up, in a set-up reminiscent of the old “Battleship” game. All of a sudden, a ship on the monitors just disappears in a huge circle of fire, like an explosion or something. I think, “God, I hope that wasn’t Heather’s ship…”

Second scene: A huge war-type battle is going on. Explosions are going off all over around a large cruiser ship, and it looks like a scene from Independence Day. Heather and some guy who I can only assume is the captain are being knocked around, all of a sudden, everything goes dark. Next thing I know, I’m peering down into the water at the sunken ship, which is somehow just a few feet under the surface, and Heather is pinned under a large object next to the captain. I reach out to her, wanting to life the debris off of her with all my strength. Again, everything goes dark…

Third scene: I’m walking down the ruins of the inside of this ship. The ship is now landlocked and on it’s side, as if the mother of all hurricanes took place and changed the face of the earth. The inside of the ship is long and I spend what feels like hours walking through it. I’m thinking of what the hell I can do or should do now that everything is gone. I try to figure out if it was the wars or the weather that did all of this. There are no people around; whether it was the result of the escalating war that sunk the ship or some uber-natural disaster, everything around me is post-apocalyptic. I am suddenly outside, about a mile or two from the ship. I turn around and finally see the massive size of the ship, and it sends chills down my spine. I think of Heather, and how much I love her, and I scream out at a seemingly dead world that doesn’t hear me. I start to cross a bridge, which looks like it’s falling apart at the seams. I fear that it might give way before I get to the other side. I am reminded about the arrival at the city of Lud in Stephen King’s Dark Tower series. Instead of walking along the bridge, I’m simply crossing over it, perpendicular-like.

End sequence.

I’m going to try to find an interpretation of this dream. It’s odd enough that I even remember it in detail, much less the content of the dream. Perhaps it means something…

The Journal Troll says: BLOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

(My apologies for seeming like a copycat, Scott.)

Quote of the Blog: “I am accustomed to sleep and in my dreams to imagine the same things that lunatics imagine when awake.” – Rene Descartes

...Juice Wars 'issue' and the meaning of love...

Apparently, there’s an issue with a win in the Juice Wars tournament. I will address it here, breifly (I hope):

Scott, my one and only blog partner on JW, closed the voting for the tournament on the “Joe B. vs. Corey” match, with Joe B. as the winner. Then, Joe (Shark) gave his vote, making the match evenly tied. As blog administrator, I opened the voting back up, to count Shark’s vote and to anticipate Vince’s. I also changed my vote to Corey. Joe B., posting as Sparkamus Prime, also changed HIS vote to himself. Then Vince voted for Corey, making the match 5-4 in Corey’s favor, and I declared the winner.

Joe was not treated unfairly. He got 4 votes to Corey’s 5; that’s impressive for a guy who’s never even FOUGHT in a ‘Juice environment before. Besides that, he’s going to get a chance to come back from it, due to the second tournament going on for the losers of the first rounds.

Unlike basketball and a presidential election, I AM THE MASTER OF JUICE WARS. I make the decisions for the blog, with Scott being the only one to palaver with me about it, being that he is a blog moderator. Andrea, I understand that you feel Joe was robbed, and that you really wanted to see him win; if Vince had voted for Joe, then Joe would be the winner. The decision stands. End of discussion. I congratulate Joe on having such a close vote to Corey, and he will get another shot soon enough to win the entire thing.

An interesting topic is on the Council right now, about the meaning of true love. Here is what I wrote on it:

To me, IN MY OPINION (disclaimer), love is known over time. Let me explain. You meet someone for the first time, you like each other a lot, and you fall "in love" and start a relationship. As time wears on, both of you change in varying ways and degrees. If you can love someone throughout these changes, then you are truly in love with that person.

Example: The person my wife fell in love with so many years ago is not the same person I am today. And vice-versa. In fact, both I and my sexy "Angel" have changed so much that those two people seem distant and foreign. However, we still love each other. That is how you know you are truly in love with another person, when you can love them not for who they are at the time, but who they are AT ANY TIME. It is because of this that I tend to chuckle a little bit at new relationships that declare ultimate love right away...ultimate love is something that cannot possibly be known at the infancy of a relationship, it has to be discovered over time. Sure, we all SAY I love you in the beginnings, but we don't truly KNOW it until much, much later.

Does this mean that week old relationships turned into marriages don't work at all? No, of course not. But, one of the best ways to really make sure if you are in love with someone is to see if your relationship can stand the test of time. And, that 'test of time' isn't the length of the relationship at all, because it stands to reason that if the person you're with stays the same all the time you would love them all the time. The 'test of time' actually refers to the fact that people evolve and alter over time, due to life experiences and trials they go through, and if you can really love someone through and through for who they are at all times, then brother, you have something really special right there. Love is patient, love is kind, love is not jealous...all that really is the truth. But love is also EXEMPT FROM THE EFFECTS OF TIME. "True" love is something that really is permanent, that won't diminish due to changes or troubles, that won't fade away as time wears on. That, my friends, is what I have with my wife, and THAT is how I know this to be true. I have loved before, and I lost those loves, and it hurt, a lot. But never before Heather have I had TRUE LOVE.

Quote of the Blog: “Life is the flower for which love is the honey.” – Victor Hugo

...on the understanding of life and similiar situations...

I thought I would post something that I posted on Council Chambers (backstory: James is Mandy’s ex-boyfriend; a lot of bad, horrible shit went down that I won’t divulge here, but trust me, it was bad):

(Current transaction of dialouge in the comment section of '...a call to action...' originally posted by King of Quill, about who “The Question” might be.)

"The King Of Quill" said...
This post has been removed by the author.

Thursday, September 23, 2004
"The King Of Quill" said...
I doubt it's James...I really do.

Thursday, September 23, 2004
Angel69 said...
Quill first off please dont say his name it makes me get really mad, second i never said it was him cause nobody here talks to him, well i would hope not and if tehy did they would have to tell me cause i have a few things i would like to say to him.

Thursday, September 23, 2004
"The King Of Quill" said...
Angel69: I realize James did many horrible things to you in your life, and it still hurts to this day. But he's ancient history at this point; in a sense, you're still letting him hurt you by having just his name rile you so. I would love to see you give him the best 'fuck you' possible and just forget he existed, you know? I happen to think that he would be very happy that he still bothers you so much; don't give him what he would want.

Friday, September 24, 2004
Angel69 said...
Quill: There are things that he did to me that I cant let go and will never let go. Espallily ever time I look at my kids. There are things that I need answers to in order to let it go. So yea he does bother me, but so I would apreciate it if you would not say that I am letting him get under my skin he owes me answers.

Friday, September 24, 2004
"The King Of Quill" said...
Angel69: You have a husband, and two wonderful kids. I see your points about needing answers for his horrifying treatment of you, but trust me, even if he wrote you a book of answers it wouldn't change the pain. I wouldn't give you closure either. Besides that, you probably will never get answers from him even if you found him; it would mean more time spent dwelling on a past issue that you could be spending enjoying the present and looking toward the future.

Take my advice or leave it...but to me, it's a wasted effort trying to understand the why from him, because it won't make a difference in how you feel, nor will it change anything about your outlook on things past. You would help yourself better by just enjoying the now of your life. He's gone, he won't be hurting you anymore, you have "Shark" now.

Sunday, September 26, 2004
Angel69 said...
Quill first off you have no idea what answers I need. Second yes it would help me from what had happened. Besides I know I have a better life then he does. I need answers so I can have closer on that chapper of my life. No I will never forget the pain but at least it will help me. So I would appreaciate it if you would not say anything about this since you have no idea what you are talking about on this subject. Thank you!

Monday, September 27, 2004
"The King Of Quill" said...
Once again, you claim that I know not of what I speak. Tell me, do YOU happen to know every single second of MY life? Were you there for EVERY event in MY lifetime? If you did, you would know that I have been in the position of "needing answers" and when I finally got them, it didn't make a difference. I found that the time spent on pursuing said answers was a waste, that I could have had happier times if I had just moved on with my life.

How can you claim that someone doesn't know what their talking about? Didn't we have this discussion, that the Council wasn't going to discount anyone's experiences? Let me let you in on a tiny secret, Angel69; if you want to sit there and say that you're the ONLY person that understands what you go through, then maybe it isn't ME that doesn't know what I'm talking about. Just a thought. I suggest that unless you know EXACTLY what I've been through in my ENTIRE life, that you not make such claims. Because, really, you DON'T know what I know about life situations; I would appreciate it if you didn't act like you do.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Post a Comment
********************************************************

So, basically, out of the goodness of my heart, I offer very sound advice that would make things easier, and I get told that I have no knowledge of what I speak. To her credit, I don't know what it's like dating James and having him put me through what he put her through; however, I make the point that everyone's advice has worth, and should not be discarded and rejected in such an ungrateful manner. And, it's true, Angel69 really DOESN'T know what I know about life situations in a similiar context.

And this, in a AIM convo at lunchtime:

TQO 71203: because I believe that everyone has something worthy to say
TQO 71203: regardless of age or same situation experience
TQO 71203: just because someone didn't live your life to the letter doesn't mean they don't know what you're going through
TQO 71203: heck, I could say no one knows what it's like with my job thing, but the truth is, they do
TQO 71203: to claim that you, for example, don't know anything about any advice you might give me would be the same as saying that I "know" every second of your life and am positive that you don't know anything that can be of help or worth
TQO 71203: and that's impossible
TQO 71203: it's impossible to 'know' what someone else understands or 'gets' or knows about life situations and how to handle them
TQO 71203: would you agree?

I would like to get all of your opinions on this. Thank you.

...self-reflection, part 1...

Well, the trip to Springfield went well. I got to see several people from the old swords group, and it was a pretty cool wedding, too. Props to Tom for the all-red tuxedo, and the swords.

Now for a bit of self-reflection. Why do I make smart-ass comments and spin insults and jokes? Many would say that I need to break others down, to build myself up. Others would say that I’m just an asshole…

Unfortunately for me, the answer is less delibrate. The simple fact of the matter is, I have the ‘foot in mouth’ affliction. I think of something that seems clever or funny in the way insults can be, and it spills out of my mouth. Because of this, I seem cruel or cold. I really don’t intend to offend or hurt anyone’s feelings, I just don’t think before I speak. Yes, I’m well aware that thinking before you speak is important; and yes, I am further aware that just spouting out insults and taking shots can be seen as immature. However, many that complain about this are people who have known me (or claim to know me) for years. The insults are one of the few things that has remained consistent in my every day personality, so why would people not get that? I mean, come on, really…how long does it take to figure out something so obvious?

Here’s my point, in case it was lost or missed: The things I say insult-wise are in no way meant to attack or hurt anyone. If and when they do, call me on it, and I will make apologies for it.

There will be more self-reflection in future posts.

Quote of the Blog: “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Mohandas Gandhi

...the question's plan fails (sucks to be all of you)...

Question, I'm sorry your plan didn't work. I know how you didn't like us all to be bickering like we do; it's very unfortunate that things needed to be this way. I guess some people will never learn. But, hey...at least stupid people are amusing.

I think I don't want to be on that Council anymore. As honored as I am to be invited on it, all that ever goes on there is arguing. Plus, it has put me in contact with old situations that I actually wanted to remain dead and buried forever.

I want everyone to know that I am a strong believer in second chances. Or third chances, or whatever. One of my weaknesses is that I often give TOO MANY chances to people who are undeserving of them. I know some of my blogs may seem unfair and harsh, but that's because I have been stepped on for my troubles of being too forgiving, and I decided that I'm not going to be a floor mat anymore. I'm all about people changing and turning themselves around, too...but sometimes, bridges are burned too badly for there to be any chance of restoration at all. I believe that fully.

I don't know why I stated what I did above. Maybe because I hadn't stated it before on my blog. Well, it's there now.

Heather's birthday is coming up. I know for a fact she's going to have a good one; I'm going all out for this one.

I don't have a quote for today's blog. I do, however, have this hiaku for you...

Friendships are precious
Valuable? Yes they are
Worth more than money

...I don't know what to title this blog...

I just want to say that Heather was the person that I quoted to have said, “This blogging thing is tearing beautiful friendships apart.” I wanted to give her that credit, because she very well deserves it.

This weekend, myself, Heather, and Dave are venturing down to Springfield for my friend Tom’s wedding. We leave tonight between 7 and 8 (hopefully closer to 7; it’s a long-ass drive down there.) Then, Saturday is the wedding, and then we come back to St. Louis that night. Brutal trip, but satisfying nonetheless.

Friendship is very important to me. Yes, I know I have come to odds with some that I used to be very close to; and, unfortunately, things are fubar’d to the point where it’s highly doubtful for repair. But, every step of the way, I regretted losing it. I only severed ties because while I valued it, I wasn’t going to allow myself to be walked all over. But, to any and all friendships which I have either lost or dropped, for whatever reasons, I say: thank you for being there all those times. Thank you for everything you did for me.

And to all the friendships that I still retain, I say thank you, for everything you’ve done for me in the past or present.

There is some question over whether I had to say what I said on my last blog. No, I didn't have to say anything like that. No, I didn't owe anyone an apology for anything that I've said in my blog. So why did I do it? Because no one else involved in the conflicts was going to say it. So, I took the initiative and did something mature and adult. It's sad that the person who shouldn't be apologizing for anything has to be the first one to stand up and apologize and advocate and end to all the bitching.

The Killer Meatloaf blog is up. Go and check it out, won’t you?

Quote of the Blog: “I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world.” – Thomas A. Edison

...blogging is tearing us apart; can we stop that?...

I have decided that blogging may be an outlet, but you can’t really vent your real feelings without consequences. I thought these were journals…

Anyway, in all seriousness…I’m seriously considering stopping my voicing of opinions (at least those opinions that can be harped upon) in my blog. I don’t really like that idea, as I enjoy venting here, but it’s something that can never be done without consequences it seems.

I’m beginning to think that maybe the threats to freedom of speech started with the people in today’s society. Yeah, that sounds about right. We did it. We started denying each other freedom of speech, getting pissed at what we post or say, and just look what it blossomed into.

I feel--no, I KNOW--that we should all just...allow each other to freely vent on our own blogs, without getting pissed about it. I have resigned myself to that. Can the rest of you? Because someone very wise beyond her years said to me: "This blogging thing is tearing beautiful friendships apart." She is truly smarter than the rest of us, I swear.

Bug-Juice used to be all about a huge group of friends. Things happened, and some people don't get along like they used to; but that doesn't mean the whole idea of BugJuice is dead. Sure, we don't hang like we all used to, but that doesn't mean the idea, the wonderful idea, of our old group should be forgotten. But it's been dying ever since 1997, right under everyone's eyes. Now, this blogging thing is causing even more tension and conflict. "Beautiful friendships." Life was better in high school because there are more high school games being played now than were ever played then.

I will make a deal with everyone. We all agree that blogs are public forums, right? Well, blogs are also personal journals. As such, they give way to vents created in anger, and vents with the purpose of putting thought to words. Why we all do this, when we know people could get pissed, I can't say...maybe we're all stupid that way. But to all on the Council and in BugJuice and anywhere else: Go ahead and post whatever you want about me, if I piss you off. In turn, I will be allowed to vent my feelings in the open of my blog/journal. And we will handle any descrepencies or disagreements resulting from them outside the blogs and in a mutual manner.

Let's start picking up the pieces and giving ourselves back the freedom of speech.

Apologies to everyone I ever gave crap to for venting in their own personal blogs/journals. I know that I have already gained one estrangement from this; perhaps others.

Andrea apologized for her angry rantings. That’s good that she did that. I hope that any other conflicts spawned from that are resolved as easily for her.

I have added the Killer Meatloaf blog to the links section, which I am a part of. Several other blogs have been linked in the last few days, too.

Speaking of Meatloaf…I am very glad that Scott and T-Bob are involving me. I mean, it certainly is my every right to be involved, as Attack of the Killer Meatloaf was MY idea in the first place…but that didn’t need to be mentioned, they just invited me out of that respect. I like that. It’s nice to be respected in that manner.

Quote of the Blog: “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” – Emo Philips

...'voice of unreason' is an understatement...

(Posted on Amber’s blog in response to Hizzy)

Let me break this down for you: I, Steve, or Quill if you want, also do not know what I'm talking about half the time. This is because I'm not always right, and I don't always know the details of a situation to know everything. Therefore, half the time, I do not know what I'm talking about. But, that also means that half the time, I do know what I'm talking about.

If you want to know the whole story, go read Hizzy’s blog, also Amber’s.

Andrea, I’m sorry if you are pissed, but get the fuck over yourself. What, you think you know what you’re talking about all the time? You think Amber appreciated you talking shit about her boyfriend like your word was gold or something? Oh, my bad, I forgot: Andrea is perfect, holier-than-thou. Andrea has the right to be pissed off in the same situations that Steve and the other guys have no right to be pissed at. Andrea doesn’t approve of the competitions we do, so of course, that must be wrong. Andrea’s not involved in every little thing that goes on, this must be a greivous injustice. People went to GK and Cowboy Mouth, but didn’t come to Scarlet Whore, how the fuck DARE they! Scott and Steve get more attention that other people do, what a travesty, it’s not fair!

Perhaps it’s not WE who have the higher opinions of ourselves here. Think about that. And who the fuck cares if we don’t like YOUR music, does that stop you from liking it? Shit, I like some pretty stupid things (M.C. Hammer, Sonic, etc.) that others don’t like, and I sure don’t let it get to me. Why? Because I don’t need to be that important or recognized.

Andrea, you have been included and involved in a lot. You somehow assimilate our old stories from high school to yourself, which you played no part in, and we just let it slide. You have been made an Animal Pal, when the other girls in our group were standing around wondering why THEY weren’t treated that way. You’ve been included out the ass in so much, so I really don’t think you have any right to claim the unfair treatment angle.

I have now spent yet another blog catering to your pissed off Hizzy state…is THIS the kind of recognition and attention and ‘credit’ that you wanted, Andrea?

Quote of the Blog: “Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.” – Tobias Smollett

...vindication tastes AWESOME!!!...

I rarely post twice in one day. Usually, all I have to say is put down in one sitting. I just read the Metal Hizzy blog, and…man…

Hizzy, you’re mad because a guy you’ve known and backed up for years (Nick) is now shitting on you. First, he goes AWOL on you, and you’re pissed about that. Then, you call Gena a slut and all kinds of names. Then, Nick gets married without telling you. Now, you’re on the warpath, pissed to all hell that someone could betray you so deeply.

What happened to “going with the flow” for the good of the social group? What happened to the philosophy of “she’s not just going to go away, you need to get used to it?” You can say I’m rubbing this in your face unfairly if you want, but I’m doing it anyway. You argued with me at every turn, throwing out words like ‘mature’ and ‘fair.’ (By the way, did Gena do anything directly to you, or do you just hate her because of the way she is?) Why do these words apply to my situation, and not yours? It’s the EXACT same fucking situation.

Don't agree? Saying, "This is different..."? Let's see:

Nick shits on friend of many years, Andrea gets pissed.

Same thing happened to Steve, Steve got pissed.

Yeah, that sounds about equal to ME and anyone with half a brain.

I have NEVER felt more right or justified in my entire life, and I genuinely thank you for that. Seriously, I’m going to throw a word of my own your way…’hypocrite’…but somehow, this is so hypocritical that it doesn’t seem to cover it.

Not so easy to 'go with the flow' NOW, is it? What's that? The shoe doesn't fit on the other foot? I can't hear you with your foot in your mouth, there. :)

This post was not written in a pissed-off state…it was actually written while I’m laughing all the way to the ‘justification’ bank to cash my ‘justified’ check. Oh look, two MORE words I’ve thrown out there. LMAO!!!!!!!!!

Ahhh…I love being right.

...I will post what I want, just try to stop me...

Let me address my fellow bloggers for a moment:

Question: Dude, who the fuck are you?

T-Bob: I can’t wait for our Meatloaf meeting. You should have left Radihoe hanging on what pwackles were…

Scott: Will there be NO end to all the stupidity you and I discussed today????

Hizzy: I’m STILL laughing about how you so perfectly ate your own foot today by proving me completely right and justified. Thank you, from the tips of my quills to the bottom of my soul. Know that if you now bring up your points of ‘going along for the group’ I will dismiss it faster than I would claims that Beaver didn’t beat Joe and Jay in paintball…

Nick Wilson is in trouble. I didn’t get him in trouble; word of mouth would have done this job in the long run anyway. Dude, you should have told your posse about you getting married, at least right after you did it. But then, you are a Yak, and Yaks aren't exactly the smartest animals I know…far from it, in fact.

I posted something on the Council about John Kerry the other day. It was not met with smiles. However, the Council is a public forum, and I shall post whatever the fuck I please. You can bitch and moan about it all day, guys…like I said before, I will not be silenced just because ‘Waaaaaaaaaah, we don’t like politics, waaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!’ ensues from the masses with limited minds. Suck it, bitches…learn to use the scroll button.

That felt damn good.

Quote of the Blog: “A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.” – Texas Guinan

(And that’s exactly what Bush does, isn’t it? Oh, unless that life is HIS life, or the lives of HIS family members or children.)

...reminiscing and scapegoat clarification...

Yesterday, I spent nearly the whole day at my parents’ house. Talk about feeling the past.

Nothing happened to trigger this per say. I just started remembering all sorts of old times. Especially out in the front yard. So many memorable things took place in that front yard; in the downstairs area, too. It is absolutely amazing how things have evolved between then and now.

I used to be a complete dork in high school. I didn’t get it. I ran around, doing Jim Carrey impressions and cracking lame jokes, because I thought that people would like me. I was one geeky guy. Then, I met my friends, and boom, things changed fast. Scott helped me tone myself down, and in turn I opened him up and actually got him to talk. It’s scary; the Quill everyone knows (or in some cases claim to know) is largely because of Scott, and the Scott everyone knows (or claims to know) is largely because of me. I think (and this is just my opinion, mind you) that’s why we work as a team and as friends so well. Bug Juice was formed, and for a while, my circle of friends was my life. I didn’t really have a clear direction. Then, I met Heather, and life changed again. I got the fire lit under me to do something with my life, and I did it. I went to college with a goal, and even though that goal evolved itself, now I have a degree. And, eventually, a ‘real’ job (fast food, Convergys, etc. are all ‘real’ jobs, but you guys know what I mean). Somewhere in there, I got married, and now I have a family. I can hardly believe all the changes.

I’ve gained friends, lost friends, dropped friends…I’ve changed in so many ways. And you know what? For the first time, I really looked at the bigger picture, and I found out that I like myself. I spend a lot of time defending myself against the high school games that we are constantly playing; I worry about so much trivial bullshit. But in the long run, even though I’m a wise-ass and I sometimes say and do stupid things that I shouldn’t, I mean well and I’m a good guy and I no longer need to defend any of that. I have better things to do with my time, like enjoy life. If someone has a problem with me or the things I do…they can certainly talk to me about it, and I will try to do better by them. But I am who I am. If someone doesn’t “get” my shtick of being a smart-ass by now…well, they probably never will. I make jokes, people. Sometimes, my joking stings. I don’t do it out of hate, or to intentionally hurt someone’s feelings. I just put my foot in my mouth often with the shit that I joke about. All I can do is be a man and own up to my mistakes and attempt to make things right. Anyway, given the fact that it’s common knowledge that I joke all the time, and that sometimes those jokes seem mean-spirited without me realizing it, it doesn’t exactly make sense why people would get pissed. It’s not like I have been doing this same thing for YEARS or anything. Also, here’s a quote from Joe B.: “The thing to remember is not to focus on how Steve is saying it, but what he says.” Also, from Scott: “You just say things that bring to light the things that people don’t want to admit to themselves.”

One of the things that HAVEN’T evolved in all this time is my tendency to somehow always be a scapegoat in this group. Nick “Pussy Viking” is a prime example of this. He has a dislike of me, mainly because of all the shit I give him. I can see that, I really can; but he is under the false impression that I am the reason he is now made fun of. Nick, here’s a wake up call for you – I didn’t start your humiliation. Your group has been dogging you for YEARS, long before I knew you. They tricked you into thinking Caucasian meant you were black…you have always been the “beaver” in your group. You are the Tweek from Baseketball; you are the Chunk from Goonies. You’re the guy in the group that is picked on and hilariously made fun of. You can blame me for that all you want, but I think it’s you running away from the cold, hard truth of the matter. Don’t believe me? Ask. If I had never called you “Pussy Viking” in the first place, you would STILL be the “Pussy Viking” in spirit. That’s a verbatim quote from someone very close to you, too.

Oh, and Nick Wilson is now married. WTF..? When did THAT happen? Not even their families knew about it until afterwards. Sounds like a shitty wedding to me; but hey, I like the big party that is supposed to be involved, with all my friends and family there, and good food and lots of wine and drinks. Otherwise, it’s like sex without foreplay – just another get in, get out affair.

At any rate, I will ponder on more subjects at a later time. Juice!

Quote of the Blog: “Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.” – Mel Brooks

...keeping things in proper perspective...

Well, here I am once again doing laundry at the parents' house. I love free laundry.

Yesterday was Ben and Michelle's wedding. Things went very well, considering the bus breaking down at Shaw's Garden. Heather got smashed up, as did the rest of the bridesmaids. I am now getting new dress shoes; the ones I have fucking suck, the tops rubbed the instep of my feet all night and caused my ankles to swell to the size of large oranges. I have pictures of it, it's disgusting but cool at the same time. Right now, Ben and Michelle should be arriving or almost arriving in Jamaica for their honeymoon. I wish them a non-Hurricane honeymoon.

I want to clear something up and give a friend some props. I do not think Justin Stamper is a wuss. I think he's quiet; I think he isn't Einstein (but who of us are?); I think he's a great guy. But I don't think him weak. I think anyone who joins the Marines is a determined mofo. I've tussled with him before, and he's no slouch. And hey, who knows how formidible he'll be upon his return from training? I happen to think, strong as I may be at this point, that I am very beatable. I never claimed to be unstoppable, that's not my claim to fame anyway...I just think that I am now more formidible. Now, of course, someone like Mark West, in a serious fight, is NOT going to be beating me. However, guys like Joe "Shark", Scott, Quazi, Justin (not Bower)...these guys would stand a very good chance at taking me down. Guys like Corey and Dave, who have earned the reputation of being the elite, the top of the mountain...these are guys that I can now at least give a good run to. I just wanted to address that, because...I don't want to gain the reputation of being full of myself. I know very well that I am not invincible. All I ever claim to be presently is Steve, The King of Quill, "Son Goku" (Kakkarot to Deadpool), someone who now has great strength and ability, enjoys testing and pushing his limits, and is far more formidible than he was before in Spiderman status.

Anyway, Juice Wars tournament continues, we are now in the second match. DeLarbar, I am sorry for your loss, but this outcome was expected.

Quote of the Blog: "Get the fuck off me!! FUCK YOU, MAN!! FUCK YOU, MAN!! We're out here in the middle of fucking nowhere.....we're lost, we're crazy, we got ugly fuckin' things chasin' us and stick-men and dingin' and shit, and all you care about is your fucking cigarettes!?....we're out here to save your fucking life!!!....." - Scott Willenbrock, Claire-Bitch Project

...the posts, they are shrinking...

It’s a wonderful wedding weekend for me, folks. Actually, two weekends in a row. I don’t really have anything to say today. Juice Wars has finally picked up momentum, I hope it keeps up…I’ve also modified the stats on Juice Wars; just go to the very first posting on JW, you’ll find them. I have added links to everyone that I know blog-wise on Quilled Scripts.

I like cheese.

Quote of the Blog: “The thermometer of success is merely the jealousy of the malcontents.” – Salvador Dali

...music and news...

Well, as you can see, I now know how to post links on my blog. Thank you, Scott.

I didn’t get any mp3s last night, because Scott is still ripping his stuff to mp3. He has a lot of stuff; by the time both of us have ripped our entire collections to mp3, and adding the stuff I’m going to get from various other people, there will be an over-abundance of music. I don’t have nearly as many CDs as Scott does, but I DO have many of them. Which is a good thing for my mp3 jukebox. The main difference between our collections will be he will have stuff that he likes, while I will have something for everyone (country, rap, pop, classical, video-game music, etc.). It’s because A) I love music (not that Scott doesn’t, but he doesn’t do country music) and B) I’m making an mp3 jukebox for party/social purposes, and must satisfy the masses.

Well, that’s all to report for now. Vote on the Juice Wars tournament and fights, won’t you?

Quote of the Blog: “Hail to the king, baby.” – Ash, Army of Darkness

...partner welcome and nothing really...

I would like to welcome Spawn as one of the blog moderators for Juice Wars. He will be posting matches of his own, eventually. Some more fights are up on the blog. I would ask and encourage you guys to get anyone in our group online and at least commenting anonymously on the blog, I really would like to see this thing take off.

I'm going to Scott's tonight to get mp3s and figure out how to post links on this blog. Hopefully, both will happen.

Heather and I picked up the special edition of Frailty last night at Target. That's an awesome movie!

I don't really have anything else.

Quote of the Blog: "I have to be stopped..." - The King of Quill

...a short post for once...

I got invited to join Vince’s Council Chambers blog. I am now part of his council. I’m sure he invited other Juicers as well, so that’s cool. I don’t have much to talk about today. For once. Juice Wars seems to be getting a good start…I may even start posting tournaments soon. I’d still like to see more people put their two-cents in, even if they say, “I can’t decide, this one is a tough call.” BTW, a new fight has been posted.

This blogging thing has its good and bad points. One bad point is that I now have to deal with things that I left for dead awhile back. Good points are obviously getting my thoughts out there, and being able to vent when I need to.

Michelle and Ben are getting married this weekend. Heather is in the wedding, so that means I’m going; not that I mind at all, Ben’s a buddy of mine, and Michelle is Heather’s best friend, so it’s all good. Then, the following weekend is Tom and Anna’s wedding in Springfield. That’s two weekends in a row for weddings.

Heather: You are the most beautiful woman alive. I love you very much. I cannot wait to get home tonight to see you. MUAH!

Scott is going to help me figure out how to post links on my blog. I’ll be attaching everyone of relevance to this blog. Joe is helping me on a project in the works since summer began. You’ll all know more soon, if you don’t know already.

I have officially joined the Kerry campaign. If you would like to do the same, just go to www.johnkerry.com and give your email address and zip code.

Told you I didn’t have much to say today. Juice.

Quote of the Blog: “In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.” – Robert Anderson

...announcement...

I said I was going to do this, and I have: I made a blog just for Juice Wars! I don't yet know how to put links to blogs on Quilled Scripts, so until I figure that out, go on over to http://quilledjuicewars.blogspot.com to check it out, or go to my blogger profile and access it from there. Have fun with it, and keep in mind it's only for fun so post post post!

...an epic tale, and I hate cock-blockers...

Sleep is a good thing. I used to think it was expendable, but not anymore.

Recap: Friday: I was up at 6 am, did the work thing, went out with Heather for dinner at Giannino’s (sp?) and saw “Paparazzi” (an excellent movie, btw), and then to my parents’ house. Saturday: didn’t sleep (couldn’t for some reason), waterproofed the back deck, stayed awake, hung with Beaver and Hizzy for dinner, spent the rest of the night with the guys, drinking A LOT of alcohol. Finally went to bed around 4 am. That adds up to about 46 hours straight of being awake. I know people in the military do that like it’s nothing, but they do it on a regular basis, so they’re used to it. I could easily do it if I was used to it, but I’m not, so IT SUCKED!

Sunday was difficult because my exhausted body still needed to catch up on its rest, and I was struggling. I feel better this morning.

Heather: I love you, baby. I’m glad you had fun at the party. Too bad I didn’t get to see your autograph, though. Oh well, I’m sure they’ll be pictures. He he.

Vince, Corey: Sorry I wasn’t at O’Leary’s the other night, I’m going to recap the reason why in a second. Also, sorry we didn’t call (for after you read this); too much drinking + other things of concern = people unfortunately don’t get called.

Someone that Joe knows named Andy is a MAJOR cock-block. Another recap:

Saturday, upon arrival at Joe’s, it was Joe, Scuba, Beaver, and me. We played the “Choices” game until 9 pm, shortly after Scott arrived. Scuba and Beaver were sent on a beer run, and brought back a 20 and a 12 of Bud-Light, and some “munchies” in the form of chips. (FYI, if you’re going to buy food for drinking, chips are NOT the way to go; sandwiches, pizzas, fuck, anything filling, but not chips.) The drinking began. Scott and I were responsible for much of the dent put in the 32 beers. Scott obviously more than me, but when I set my mind to it, I can keep pretty good pace with Scott (he admits this, fyi). DeLarbar showed up. We spent a good hour ripping on him. Scott and I HAVE to do some kind of show; radio shows, a TV show, something. It was absolutely hilarious. (And because she’ll want mention, Hizzy would be the “Robin Quivers” of our radio show.) This guy that Joe knows, named Andy, calls Joe on his cell and says that he’s with a bachelorette party, and he’s bringing them back to Joe’s. Now, save for Scott and I, it was all single guys. So, of course, we cleaned and re-stocked the alcohol supply. Dave showed up at this point, and he got some more ‘foo-foo’ beer and some wine (good call, btw, Dave…your pimp-hand is strong, young jedi) for the cause. What cause you ask? The noble cause of getting Joe some action. Beaver, too. And, yeah, the other guys. But mainly thinking about Joe, because it’s his place, and Beaver, because that guy needs some play. Scott and I were excited only because, hey, it WAS a pretty fucking cool thing to have happening, and since these chicks were apparently d-r-u-n-k (as Joe put it, ‘primed and ready’), we both figured it might prove for some wild entertainment…

Well, Andy dropped the fucking ball. This party had 18 females in it; how in the fuck do you lose ALL 18 ‘primed and ready’ girls in the mood to party? Plus, you don’t just do that; you don’t just call a room full of mostly single men and promise them girls if you’re not going to actually deliver. That’s a whole other form of cocktease. I really feel for Joe, Scuba, Beaver, Chris, and Dave. That has to suck. At least Scott and I didn’t need to depend on the situation for some female-time, but them…God, I can only imagine. Andy, you are a goddamned prick. Because of you, not only did we not have any women, but we ended up watching Batman: The Movie starring Adam West and Burt Ward. That’s Saturday night’s situation equivalent to having to jerk-off after missing out on sex: normally something that would be amusing, if not for the fact that it’s the obvious second choice to what COULD have been going on!! We did take some pictures with the intent on goofing on Andy’s stupidity; Scuba didn’t give them to Joe before he left for the weekend, so they’ll be up on Joe’s site www.gimbie.net as soon as we can get them.

Andy: all shall now know you as “Cock-Blocker”. IF you ever started coming around and hanging out, your nickname would rival “Pussy Viking” in terms of lameness and ridicule. And with our group, it WILL be used in as MUCH ridicule as humanly possible. This would be unfair if it was just my view on it, but this is undoubtedly the group consensus here.

About Chris DeLarbar: the guy is hilarious. He’s like an endless source of material for Scott and I. It’s bad enough when it’s ONE of us, either Scott, OR me, but Saturday night was classic. To his credit, Chris DeLarbar is a good guy, a good friend, and has a decent head on his shoulders. But, he’s also an easy target to pick on. Just a few examples: 1) He believes that he used to be a half-human, half-cheetah female humanoid in a past future life (I’m not kidding). 2) EVERY story he tells is a depressing one. Every story. There are no happy stories with this kid. He could make a terminal cancer ward seem happy. Seriously. 3) He got pinned in a wrestling match by a guy who was forbidden to use his arms OR his legs; basically, he got beaten by a quadriplegic. 4) Beaver kicked his ass. ‘Nuff said. I know a lot of people might think it mean to pick on the guy so much, but it can’t be helped, he’s just one of those guys that this is going to happen to. He would definitely be in our version of the ‘whack pack’ (which, in homage to BJ, would call ‘yak pack’)…

Phoenix: I will be leaving the issue of the election alone now. (Actually, lots of people may be relieved at that fact.) Also, forgiveness is a noble thing. God forgives. But I am not God, I am a man; and I shall not be made a fool, or a doormat to be stepped on. I have lines which, when crossed, mark the end of the story for good. My lines are not unfairly located. My threshold of forgiveness is very, very, VERY hard to cross. I give a lot of leeway and look at the bigger picture before I pass final judgment on things. I just wanted you to know that, so that you may preserve your breath for a topic for which it won’t be spent in total vain.

Marathon posts are fun, right? Especially when they’re not just a bunch of whining and complaining. (Dig) *innocent look*

Blog-mania continues to claim more victims. I wonder if having a public journal where anyone can post and read is such a good idea anymore. It could (and has, to a limited extent) cause old situations to crawl from the woodwork and come back into the light when you want them to just die off and stay buried.

Anyway, now I must go. I may post later, if I’m lucky enough to. Juice!

Quote of the Blog: “Common sense is not so common.” – Voltaire

...poli-sci and apple pie...

Sorry about the political rants as of late, the last one being very...passionate.

Spawn: Finally...THE SPAWN...has returned to Quilled Scripts!!! Can you smeeeeellllllll what the Spawn...is...cookin!? I see your points. I know the dying and the senseless war doesn't stop at Kerry. I know this shit has been going on forever. But, the simple fact that you and I both agree upon is Bush needs to fucking go. Gimme a hell yeah, brotha Spawn! And, the only way that's going to happen is by voting for Kerry. Third parties never win, they only turn the tide in someone else's favor, traditionally the current president. Unfortunately, like you, people don't vote because they don't see the point; to them, it makes no difference. Maybe that is so; but to me, it would be better to throw a punch for Kerry, even if that punch was destined to fail, rather than just allow Bush to be re-elected for another four years. Basically, if I'm going to lose, I'd rather lose going down swinging. That's why I'm so passionate about this. I apologize if the rants got TOO passionate.

Hizzy: Right on, finally you and I see eye to eye on something in the blogs. Yes, I did like the little map of the electoral college.

Deadpool: From out of nowhere, political support from the 'Merc with a Mouth.' Can't beat that.

Shark: I'm glad to hear the good side of things. Thank you, keep up the good work.

Heather: I hope you have fun at the female festivities today and tonight. Don't get into too much trouble, now. I'm watching you...with my spy satellite...OF DOOM! Uh...yeah. Seriously though, have fun, be safe, and get Michelle really, really drunk. :)

Jason Biggs: Why did you fuck the pie, man? WHY?!

Waterproofed the deck today. It took all of two hours to do. I thought it was going to be an all-day job. At least I get to go to the bank now. Speaking of which, I have to get going there. Post more later.

Quote(s) of the Blog: "There's sense in no-sense." - Dave T. Province
(I still don't have a fucking clue what that's supposed to mean. Oh well, it's all good.)

"He's got 'old man' strength." - Dave T. Province

...I am calling everyone I know out RIGHT NOW...

I posted this on Hizzy's latest blog (as of this moment in time anyway) directed at Jess "Phoenix":

Jess - I don't mean this in a harsh way, but it's the cold hard truth of the matter. Bush is going to continue pursuing these wars; after Iraq, it will move to another country. It will continue, and it's a possibility that Justin, your husband, could be killed as a result of it. He'd be dead, Jess. And it wouldn't be a death that needed to happen. Peter would then be without a father. Jobs will continue to disappear in the U.S., and our nation will deteriorate even further. Isn't the life of your husband, the future of your son, and the good of our country reason enough to put your vote to GOOD use, instead of voting for "Inu-Yasha"? I know you may not like Kerry, and you're afraid of things getting worse, but why in God's name would you just let Bush be re-elected, KNOWING that he is going to fuck us even worse? I sincerely hope you wake up...this is an election where it actually MATTERS who we put in office, for the good of everything we know. Voting for "Inu-Yasha" is NOT going to make a difference, if anything, it's giving up and letting Bush take more fathers from their children and get them killed overseas. PEOPLE ARE DYING AND IT IS BUSH'S FAULT; WE CAN STOP HIM, BUT TO DO THAT IT HAS TO BE JOHN KERRY. Wake up, please, if nothing else but for Peter Stamper's sake.

I care about more jobs in our nation. I care about our president putting America first. George W. Bush is not doing that. He is fueling and pushing a war that just doesn't need to be fought anymore. People are dying. Our soldiers are being killed over there. Children in the U.S. have lost their fathers because of this war, because of something that didn't need to continue this far. Because of Bush's actions, some children won't even know their fathers. I will be the first to say this: If I don't vote, if I don't try to get that bastard out of office, I am going to be personally responsible for another soldier dying, for another job gone to overseas outsourcing, another grandmother denied her medicine because she can't pay for it. The same goes for each and every one of you. I don't care who you think you are; this applies to EVERYONE.

Many people say that Kerry might not be any better. They think, "Kerry might fuck it up even worse, so why even bother, go with what we know, at least it won't get much worse." You're wrong; Bush is going to make it worse, in big ways. He is NOT the person that should have EVER been elected president. At least with Kerry, there's a chance, no matter how small it is, that he won't fuck it up, that he will make things right and better. With Bush, we KNOW that he is going to keep doing what he has been doing; being a terrible, horrible president.

Voting for a third party, unfortunately, is not going to get rid of Bush. It's a known and proven fact that a vote for a third party is a vote for the current president. I'm sorry to anyone that likes the Green party, or whatever, but all you are doing is taking votes away from Kerry and giving Bush the edge. The only thing you're doing is helping Bush stay in office, helping this shit to continue, helping more soldiers die. Voting for "Inu-Yasha" or a famous actor on the ballot is the same thing; it's throwing your vote away. No matter what, it's wasteful, it's shirking your responsibility to your country and your fellow Americans.

I like to let people make their own calls. But in this instance, I wish I had the power within me to force this issue. But I don't. For those who haven't registered to vote, please do. It doesn't take anything to do it, you don't have to pay to do it, it takes no time at all, it's not an inconvience, you spend more time taking a shit or pumping your gas!!!! This is not a joke, this is not the time to say "I don't feel like it", if you never vote again in your entire fucking lives, THIS has to be the time when you do!!!! Don't you people see how bad things are going to get?!

For those of you that ARE registered, wake the fuck up and vote for John Kerry, give our nation and our troops a fighting chance.

This is it. This is the whole basis for democracy in the first place, what makes us free, what makes our nation great. The freedom to elect a leader who is right and just and won't get us all killed. This is a basic right that our very nation was founded upon. All of our ideals come down to this: we currently have a leader that is royally fucking us; he needs to go. Only we can fire this guy. Ignoring it and not caring and 'being too busy' is NOT an excuse this time. I didn't get to vote last election; but I'm sure as hell going to vote in this one. This is one that counts.

I challenge all of you, everyone that I know and love and call friend or enemy to grow the stones to actually do something and make a difference. If you want to see our country go to hell, and have thousands of brave citizens DIE for NO REASON other than one person's 'war on terror', don't vote. For those of you in college; if you want to have to live through the hell that I had to, struggling to find a job for TWO YEARS when there just isn't anything out there, don't vote. If you want to see children who never know their fathers; if you want to see the freedom of speech - OUR freedom of speech - ripped apart by the seams until we can't even speak our minds to each other; if you want to SEE THE WHOLE GODDAMNED DEAL GO DOWN IN FLAMES, I dare you fuckers not to vote!

Please, prove me the fuck wrong, take me down, show me that I am wrong and that all of you, ALL OF YOU, give a fucking shit about your lives and the lives of those around you. Vote. For god's sake, GET BUSH OUT OF OFFICE.

You don't know how hard it was to find a job for me. TWO YEARS. And with a bachelor of science at the cutting edge of my field, with honors no less. Two years, giving it everything that I had, everything I could think of. Going full steam ahead, struggling every day. I know first hand where Bush's priorities lie, I've lived it; and IT'S NOT OUR COUNTRY. I finally got lucky this summer; but there are people out there that still can't find work. It's our economy. Our economy is the way it is because of Bush; he isn't doing anything to fix it, he's too focused on fighting his little, useless, pointless war. He doesn't care about our country, don't listen to the lies in his ads. If he cared, he would have cared long before now. He's only trying to keep his job, and he will do anything and say anything to keep it.

Please. Please. A thousand times, please. Do it for whatever reason you think is best. Find a reason to care. Please.

...George W. Bush is the WORST president EVER and btw...

I keep hearing about more of our troops getting killed in Iraq. This is all Bush’s fault, he should pull our boys out, but NO, he has to keep with his warmongering, religious right agenda. Our president is now responsible for OUR soldiers being slaughtered in a war that we shouldn’t even be fighting. I honestly do not respect him as my leader, and if I had my way, he would be out of office this next term. Unfortunately, I can’t make that happen on my own; it’s up to the people in our country to vote him out. He is going to be the ruin of our country. He doesn’t focus on our problems here in the states. This war on terror is all fine and good, but it’s gone too far. People are dying, and they don’t have to. Joe Dimitro, Justin Stamper…two people I can name who could likely be killed in battle because of Bush’s ideals in this. I do NOT want these two to die. I want them to live. I don’t want this shit to happen. This has got to end. I’ve joined the Kerry campaign, but it doesn’t change anything if people don’t vote. Every vote counts; I used to think the opposite of that, but I now know that every vote really DOES count. Please, for the sake of our futures, please, everyone who I know that can vote. Register to vote, help get Bush out of office, things can only get worse from here with him in power. Maybe John Kerry won’t do any better, you’re right; but I would rather take a chance on someone who MIGHT fuck things up over a guy who I know for a FACT will continue to fuck things up (i.e. the lesser of two evils).

I hate downtown St. Louis. Specifically, driving in downtown St. Louis. Some people would say, “it’s really not that bad”, but these people are used to it. For those of us who learned to drive in the county, it’s a fucking nightmare having to drive downtown.

There is too much going on this weekend. Ben Manzela’s bachelor party MIGHT be tomorrow night; he’s not sure yet, so as of this moment, I have no idea. Corey is also hosting that karaoke contest tomorrow night (for real this time). Beaver might come into town, and I assume he’ll want to hang. Scuba and Joe are going to Goose Creek tomorrow night to do some drinking at the ‘cabin’ and stay overnight, and they have invited me to go. Chris DeLarbar is having a party tomorrow night as well, supposedly. Sunday, I’m supposed to be hanging out with my college buddy, Brent. God, that’s a lot to cram into one weekend! Right now, the only two things set in stone for Saturday is Goose Creek and karaoke, so at least that’s something.

I sent Joe Dimitro an email explaining the full deal with my beef with him. I don’t have any idea what he’ll have to say about it…I don’t know if he’s going to call bullshit on everything I had to say or not. But, he asked for an explanation, and I gave him one, full and with nothing held back. I also called Erich; we’re supposed to get some beers next week some time and talk. Heather said I’m way too forgiving. Perhaps she’s right. Maybe I do open myself up for repeated stabs in the back. We’ll find out soon enough.

I’m waterproofing my parents’ back deck Saturday during the day. I enjoy being outside and doing physical work, it’s great. I can’t wait. I can wait even less for the money I’m being paid to do it. :)

My blog has been the focus of a lot of heat lately. To all who are reading and keeping up, I hope that you’re at least amused with the reactions and turn of events. To all who are making this interesting, well…I’m glad you have a target to fire at. I don’t mind, really. A wise person recently told me, “If you don’t let it get to you, you take away their sting.” Well, I’m reacting, but not like you’d expect. Fire away with more, if you have anything left – I welcome it. Bring…it…on.

Quote(s) of the Blog: “Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” – Mark Twain

“You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.” – Mahfouz Naguib

“Republicans are men of narrow vision, who are afraid of the future.” – Jimmy Carter (That one was for G.W. Bush.)

...things have gotten out of control...

My blog certainly is at the epicenter of controversy right now, isn’t it? In a way, it’s flattering that what I have to say has such an effect. In another way…goddammit.

There really is something to be said about keeping your trap shut. Sure, this is my journal and I can write about anything I feel like, but when I do that, I’d better be prepared to defend myself. Perhaps I should do that, ‘keep my trap shut.’ It would make things so much easier. (Hizzy probably knows how this feels, too, she even puts “Let the ass jumping begin” at the end of rants that will get ‘those kind’ of responses.) Make no mistake though…I write about what I think and feel on this page, that’s just the way it’s going to be. However, here ARE some things I AM sorry for:

Hizzy: Sorry if I did anything to make you feel less of a friend. I’ve been busy, and I haven’t been dictating my time effectively. Now I know how you feel getting jumped on for your posts. I will try to be better about that.

Beaver: Sorry about the whole deal with the wedding rehearsal dinner. Check your blog, you’ll see a more lengthy explanation. Why apologize for THAT now? Beaver is my friend, and I will do that for him.

Hizzy & Beaver: Sorry if you guys felt stuck in the middle of this thing between Erich and me. In the future, I will not bring anything having to do with this to either of your attentions, I’ll just keep quiet about all of it. All that I ask is the respect to let me handle it the way I choose, even if that means I don’t come to a party or two. (If I miss out, I miss out, after all…it doesn’t cause you guys to miss anything.)

Now, on to OTHER things:

Shark: I was angered by your post. I realize now that you honestly don’t know why I stopped talking to you. I will explain at a later time. Right now, I’m sorry for overreacting, and I’m sorry that you felt alone. My support at this time will never make up for that, but I still throw it at you nonetheless. I never thought I was better than anyone, especially you. You may not believe that, but it IS the deal. In fact, you may not believe ANY of this, and I don’t blame you, but this IS the deal. Once again, get home safe to your children and your family, and God be with you. For what it’s worth, I wish I could take your shit away from you so you wouldn’t have to go through half of what you’ve been through. Also, “I hope he gets his ass handed to him” was taken completely out of context and blown out of proportion by Phoenix (sorry Jess, but it was); a lot of people think you need humility, whether it’s true or not is highly debatable. That was never intended to mean “I hope he gets his ass shot” or anything anywhere CLOSE to that. Jess told you about that because it offended her, so I don’t blame her for it, but it needed to be addressed.

Erich: Maybe I am a fool, I don’t know. I know you don’t read this journal, so I’ll be calling you. Hopefully something (good) will come of it. The point about eight years of friendship counting for something works on my end as well.

My last post should not have been directed at Hizzy so much, and I apologize to her for whatever it’s worth (which might not be very much). I thought she was in this for the conflict; I was mistaken. But, the OTHER main idea of the post was this: Don’t interject yourself into someone else’s drama. Let it be between the two of them (or three of them, or whatever). And now, I have people literally flocking to this like flies to honey, all because I vent in my blog. Please, I implore you guys, please stay out of my affairs with other people. I really don’t need or want everyone I know involved in my personal affairs. If I ask for help, that’s another thing, but come on. Seriously. THIS is the kind of thing that turns a mountain into a molehill. Perhaps it’s MY fault for even discussing it with certain people, if I hadn’t talked about it, people wouldn’t know my opinions and thoughts. There doesn’t need to be a mudslide of people jumping on this wagon, there really doesn’t. This isn’t a group thing.

I should have stuck to talking about mundane things like strength, Quillcade, and Juice Wars posts…

Quote of the Blog: “The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy: neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.” – John W. Gardner

...why the need for a fight? (aka leave it be)...

I really need to do something about these marathon posts of mine…I sure can be long-winded, can’t I? Today’s topic has to do with people who like to generate a conflict (god, I sound like a talk show host).

Now, I realize that in a perfect world, a group of friends would band together and everyone would get along with everyone else; and if there were any fights, everyone would work toward a common goal to resolve it. We don’t live in a perfect world, however, and things just aren’t that way at all. Unfortunately (and I mean that), things go sour, friendships come and go for varying reasons, and the tightest of groups drift apart. This is part of life. I’ve learned this all too well in recent years. My group from high school, what we called Bug Juice for years, it changing in ways I could have never predicted. What used to be a HUGE “family” is now a loose collective who are each going down their own paths. Thankfully, many of us will still be friends despite this fact. Not all, however.

I’m not unwilling to work out my differences with people (i.e. Erich). I’ve been told that I am sometimes a little too forgiving. Eventually, push will come to shove and it will either happen or not happen, and come what may, Erich and I will both live our lives. I wish him the best, in any event.

However, this situation is between the two of us to sort through. It doesn’t involve anyone else. It shouldn’t involve anyone else. Sure, he has issues with several people, but as far as me and Erich go, it’s between the two of us. Therefore, I will not allow anyone else to interject him or herself into it. I’m not going to settle my differences with someone just for the good of the social structure; I don’t care if me “dropping it” would make things more comfortable for a large group of people. If I decide not to come to an event because I don’t feel like dealing with a certain person, that is what I am going to do, and that’s the end of it. I am not obligated to be anyone’s friend, nor am I obligated to even “play nice” with a person for the sake of a large group; it is something that I choose to do if I wish. It’s not that I don’t care about my group of friends, or their happiness; but why should I have to put on an act or do things just because it’s “for the good of the group?” Sorry if that sounds selfish, but a person's priorities should not be other people all the time.

Hizzy, I appreciate your concerns and odd need to facilitate this ‘resolving of issues’ between Erich and whoever, but as I’ve stated before, you’d do better for yourself to butt out of it. That’s not to be mean, but what’s between me and Erich, and Erich and whoever else for that matter, doesn’t involve you at all. Maybe since you’re part of the group, it affects you in some way indirectly, but you’ll get that with anything that happens in life, so that doesn’t count as something that concerns you. This need to “get this group together” is not wanted. Not by me, at least. I prefer to handle my own affairs the way I choose to handle them. When and if I need your assistance or advice, believe me, I will ask.

On a side note, you seem to enjoy the thrill of a good confrontation. You always seem to push for some sort of conflict to happen. I understand that conflict makes things really interesting; I enjoy that kind of thing as much as the next person, it’s like a soap opera in real life, and everyone loves soap opera. But, we don’t need to create conflict out of thin air. Pushing for Erich and me to talk is doing just that, especially if it’s not he and I doing it on our own. There have been several occasions where you seem to lobby for actions that would cause the most conflict and tension. You love conflict; it’s a thrill for you, one that is understandable. It needs to stop, though. I would like it to stop.

Anyway, in other news, Scott should have his new Silent Hill game today…which means that we may just find him dead, sitting in a pool of his own drool, piss, and man-juice gripping the controller like a vice and staring blankly at the screen in a few weeks time. Hopefully, he’ll eat and sleep in between marathon sessions. He he.

I’m sorry if anyone was offended by yesterday’s topic. That was a long time coming. And, I’m not sorry for saying any of it to him (if he read it); if anything, I’m sorry I was so calm and fair about it all. J.D. really deserves to be completely bitched out. But, I am a better person than he, so I didn’t stoop that low.

Well, I am continuously updating this Juice Wars thing…I’m now giving Dave a 9 ranking for his blind rage (aka “boarserker”) mode; I’m doing this because even though Dave may lose much of his cognitive fighting in that mode, he really would be pretty impossible to put down in that state, given his ability to turn pain into fuel for his attacks. I’ll probably start another blog titled Juice Wars, and I will post different fights and scenarios for people to vote on, just for fun, based on the stats to date on this journal. That way, if you don’t want to read about that, and think it’s stupid and childish, you won’t have to here. I have to learn to post links first, though…

That’s it for today, folks. Later!

Quote of the Blog: “Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are.” – Bertolt Brecht

...in response to being a 'hit and run friend'...

Hey guys…how was your Labor Day? Mine was good, signed up for my BMG music club, barbequed, went to dinner with the parental units, had an overall good time.

Amber, I’m sorry if my absence from your party offended you. It was nothing against you. Andrea, just remember our little chat – sorry if I was harsh on your blog. Beaver, we’ll hang next time you’re in town, sorry things were so crazy this weekend. Erich, we obviously have things we need to talk about. If you like, contact me in some way and we will try to work things out…hey, I’m willing to if you are.

Now, on to today’s topic… I’ve gotten angry with certain people in the past for certain events, and have carried the grudge with me; I did this because the damage to the friendship was too great, and the betrayal was HUGE. However, we’re living in some scary times, and people are being sent to war when they don’t have to be. People are at risk of dying, people who have families here in the states. It’s insane. I’m not blind to the fact that no matter what grudges I have against a person, if they get sent away to risk their life I should damn well support that person and keep them in my prayers. I don’t have to like them, I don’t have to trust them, but it’s a matter of “you are risking your life for your country, for all of us here in the USA, and I wish you safe return to your family.” I’m not the kind of person to let a grudge stop me from that. On top of that, additional bad shit was going down, to which I thought to myself “Look, Steve…you don’t like this guy, and you have valid reasons, but it’s no reason to be heartless and inhuman about it; what if that was you? You would need a friend, even a former friend, to let you know they were with you during this hard time.” And so, I did just that. Then, I find out that I “can go fuck myself” or something. Well, excuse the fuck out of me!! Some people are too stupid to recognize genuine support for them. Some people are just plain ignorant when it comes to common courtesy. Some people would slap the hand away of a person trying to help them out of a hole of bad stuff. Pride, ignorance, anger, I don’t care WHAT the excuse for being that way is…if I was able to put my differences with you aside and take the initiative and send some love and prayers and support your way when I DIDN’T FUCKING HAVE TO, you should be able to at least be grateful for it. You don’t have to accept it, but you are required to be grateful. But, I guess this could explain why so many of your friends turned their backs on your in the first place, right? The following post, quoted exactly, is what spurned this (from a former friend “Shark”):

“Something that just drives me crazy is a hit and run friend. That is somebody that was a good friend and just stopped calling and coming by for no reason.Doesn't talk to you for two or three years and then emails you on how sympthic they are to your situation or how they support you.
Bullshit!!!The true friend is the one that never turned thier backs on you,the ones that were there with you in the dark times.The ones that took you in when you had no place to go,The ones that would give the very clothes off of thier back to keep you warm.That is a FRIEND!!!
It doesn't matter where you are in the world a true friend is still at your side and has your back.
At least here I can face my attackers.” (From a blog entitled “Hit and run friends”)

Just so there’s no confusion, I didn’t send my support for recognition; at no moment did I ever want or expect people to say “Steve, you’re a really great guy for doing that, good for you!” I also didn’t even want or expect “Thanks for the support man…that means a lot” from you. But I sure didn’t deserve “fuck you, Steve” for my troubles. I’m not the Wal-Mart of support, giving discounted prices to everyone on the street; also, sending my support to you took some swallowing of pride, given past history and the fact that you think you’ve done nothing wrong. So you tell me, what’s your little definition of a true “friend” supposed to prove, that you’re an asshole? That post was damn disrespectful, I don’t care who you think you are. I could go into all the times I “had your back” but at this point, that would be a waste of words on you. It’s actually pretty funny how you preach about being a good “friend”…to me, I think a true friend – hell, a good person in general – would swallow even the biggest of grudges and pride to see past it all, and do and say what should be done and said. I hate admitting it, but I was right about you, which is why we don’t talk anymore. Stupid me, I thought you were better than that.

I still send my support and prayers for you, because no one deserves to die and be alone in the face of certain death and injury. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. But, next time someone sends you support, be a man and a person and give thanks for that, instead of taking the “fuck you, you weren’t there for me before, why now?” attitude. Accept a little support when it’s given. At least I can say that I did something wholesome and good in that situation, how about you? However, with all that being said, my closing statement is this: Get home safe, yes; have a wholesome and rich life with your family, yes; God bless you and keep you in his heart, yes; but FUCK YOU all the same for being the way you are about all this, and fuck you for your ungratefulness.

Sorry about that …ungratefulness just pisses me off. I’m sure I’m not the only one that would be pissed off by that post, either.

Anyway, I have lots of CDs to get in the next few months. I need to pick up Drowning Pool (both albums), the new Chevelle, the new hed (PE), Static-X, Fear Factory, the new Papa Roach…and my continuing quest for horror flick DVDs, as well as a selection of other DVDs like action movies, comedies, anime, etc. Basically, some tactical entertainment budgeting will be in order. Got to love the end result, though.

I’m out for now. If you haven’t already, give me a comment on my “Juice Wars” post from a couple of days ago, I’m curious to see what everyone thought of it. Dave, Scott, I’m mainly curious to see what you guys thought. Beaver, too. Give me a comment, guys. My original ranking of Justin (Stamper) needs something…Rank: 7, higher depending on his training in the Marines. Oh, and I also forgot to include Erich:

I think Erich would be a solid 7.5 Rank. He has a size advantage; he’s quick for a guy his weight and height, and he also can get pretty enraged sometimes. Rumor has it he also has quite the right-hook, boxing style. Plus, he would be another that, while lacking in raw power, has cognitive fighting on his side, which is a big deal when it comes to this kind of fight.

Quote of the Blog: “A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew.” – Herb Caen

...Juice Wars!! (in blog form)...

Well, I promised an assessment of my fellow ‘Juicers in the department of physicality, and here it is, as complete as I could get it before posting time. Ranks are from 1 to 10, and that rating is based on how I think they would do in an “all Bug Juice free-for-all” (taking into account strength, speed, agility, endurance, and intelligence).

Dave: First thing’s first, my brother, the original ‘hardcore champion’ of our circle. No one can deny that Dave is uber-tough. He may not be the strongest of our bunch, but he’s not a pushover by any means. In fact, even when he was way young, he was kicking everyone’s ass on a regular basis. Presently, he’s got height and more strength, and I think that an attack from him would be devastating at this point. I mean, the kid knows how to handle himself in a fight, with one or many people. Added to that, he seems to have an ability to increase his stats when he gets hurt; you punch him in the face, he gets MAD, almost like the Hulk, and gets more and more tough with each hit. Pretty much, to put Dave down on the first hit, you better make damn sure you hit with everything you’ve got. Plus, he knows how to roll with the punches, too, and he can take a lot of damage before it really begins to affect his stats; all in all, Dave is dangerous personified in this environment, because it’s his element to be in a free-for-all. (Gohan from DBZ is definitely a perfect fit for him – DON’T MAKE HIM ANGRY, for god’s sake. LOL)
Rank: 8.5 calm and collected, 8 in a blind rage where he could make mistakes

Beaver: Ok, now for Beav…Bucky…the Buckster. I’ll bet you’re expecting me to say he’s the low man on the totem poll, that he’s the weakest link. You’d be wrong. Beaver is not the strongest person we have, but he’s no wet noodle, either. If he was serious, I’m willing to put money on him doing some damage before he gets taken down. Look at the facts: the guy plays paintball all the time, running around, shooting all over the place. He probably has the most definition in his muscle structure because of all the exercise he gets. He took out DeLarbar TWICE, fought a very desperate Mark West to a standstill without much effort, and even took out five guys double his size in a GK pit once. Now, admittedly, that may not be the MOST impressive resume of might, but it merits him to at least be the strongest of his herd, the Yaks. Plus, he’s smart enough to KNOW he’s not standing a chance one-on-one with uber-strong guys, so he would play it smart and find a way to avoid a situation where he gets killed off.
Rank: 5

The Other Yaks: (Realizing this post is going to be the LONGEST sonuvabitch already, I’m condensing some people.) DeLarbar – this guy is decent at taking hits, but he couldn’t dish it out if he tried. After seeing some of the things I’ve seen I don’t know if he could fight his way out of a wet paper sack. Rank: 3; Mark West – an even weaker person than DeLarbar, he would cry if you stepped on his foot. Rank: 2; Justin Bower – I’ve only seen him wrestle with Dave once, and he got a face-full of kitty litter for his troubles. Also, he has this thing against fighting, even for his own survival, so he is the weakest of them all because he would just let himself get beaten. Rank: 1

“Quazi”: We call him Hulk; because when Quaz gets mad, watch out. Chris actually has a very high level of power behind him even when he’s calm. He also plays a lot of video games, and as a result has really good hand-eye coordination, which would help him in throwing hits out. I have to admit, as far as a brawl goes; Chris is one of the major players. However, I DO think there are fighters among us who would fight a tad smarter than just going in full swing. Chris isn’t a total idiot in a fight, but he has a slight brashness about him that could work against him. If he were to get uber-pissed, I think he’d be more of a threat, because despite his blind rage he would be that tough to put away.
Rank: 8, 8.5 to 9 if in a state of total blind rage

Scott: Ah, the hell spawn himself. He thinks he’s weak. I think that’s bumpkis. Scott has a height advantage, plus he has a very long reach, which can be a very useful thing. On top of that, Scott does have a substantial amount of physical strength; he just doesn’t use it often. When he gets serious, he seems to tap into a darker force within him, giving him both intimidation and more durability and strength. The problem is, he’s not confident in his own abilities, and often is worried about getting hurt, which holds him back. However, in a fight scenario where he’s given no choice, he would be pretty effective. He’d go from Ed Norton to Tyler Durden.
Rank: 7.5 if he holds back, 8.5 to 9 if he lets loose with the darkness

Nate (Berry): Nate would be a GREAT agility fighter if he weren’t so arrogant. Overconfidence can definitely be a weakness that can end you, and he has this, unfortunately. He has some moves, and some attributes, like quickness and speed, and some physical strength in his own right, but all of that is negated to an extent by his brashness.
Rank: 6 if he’s cocky, 7 if he’s not

Vince: He’s a BIG boy! Not only does this guy have the size going for him, but also he’s amazingly quick and agile for someone as big as he is. He also has several disciplines in fighting techniques, and a considerable amount of physical strength to him as well. He also has a lot of data on our stats, so he would know weaknesses and strengths.
Rank: 7 to 9, ranging on his info

Joe (Behrens): Not much is known about this guy’s ability as far as fighting goes, but I’ve seen a boiling rage under the surface of his otherwise collected decorum. I don’t think he goes into a “blind” rage as much as just a “rage”; it gives him the benefit of the increase in strength, stamina, and durability without the loss of cognitive fighting. I would say he would be a major threat if allowed to turn it loose full steam. It would all just depend on how long he could keep that momentum going.
Rank: 8

Joe (Shark): Though not really in the circle anymore, he was a major contender back in the day. He’s very durable in a fight; he can definitely take a lot of punishment and keep on coming, just like his character Wolverine. He’s also got a high level of strength to him, and he has training in combat with the military. Often, his overconfidence was the reason for him losing a lot of ‘bouts, which is a hindrance for sure. Yeah, Dave took him out when he was young, but Dave is no ordinary kid. Without weaponry, Joe is a bit evened up against the rest of us, and since we’re not including weapons in this fight…
Rank: 8 if he’s serious, 6 if he’s cocky

Corey: The Juggernaut, unstoppable and unbeatable. Well, sort of. Corey has the total strength advantage here, no doubt about it. In a blow for blow, not even my “rhino rage technique” would be able to match this guy, and rhino rage is some pretty intense stuff. He has training in fighting techniques, has really good aim in throwing things, and it takes a big hit to do anything to him. On top of that, while we all make jokes about his intelligence level, he’s not stupid in a fight; he knows what he’s doing. He’s resistant to damage, as well; nothing short of the level of bludgeoning him over the skull with a steel shovel is going to hurt him enough to make him stop swinging. When he gets mad, it gets even worse. The only way for anyone in OUR group to beat Corey is to outlast his endurance level, which has yet to be tested. Given the fact that there ARE persons whose energy would last longer than Corey’s would – and the fact that while no one is at his level strength-wise, they come pretty close sometimes (i.e. rhino rage, Dave’s blind rage, etc.) – is the only reason he doesn’t have a 10.
Rank: 9.5, decreasing little by little the longer the fight lasts

Gerbin: John Gerbin is Fatty Goodness, a dear friend of our clan from back in the day. He is the man. He’s funny as shit and a very good guy. He’s also a BIG guy. Not really fat big, but muscle type big. He could probably bench Vince. He’s also the only person who would take on Corey one-on-one, and what a fight that would be! I saw Gerbin take on five football players and just toss them about like they were nothing. The only saving grace is that anyone – be it Corey, Gerbin, me, Dave – that fights a whole group of people at once is going to be at a disadvantage. Even more so if we all agree to take the big guy on first and then get on with it from there.
Rank: 10, decreasing little by little depending on whom he faces and how long the fight lasts

Hizzy: Yes, she’s a girl. But she also likes to hang with the dudes, acts a bit like a dude, and would jump into this fight if given half the chance. She’s known as the “hardcore” Hizzy, and I suppose if you consider how much she can take in a pit and keep coming back for more, that would be valid. She doesn’t really have a lot of strength she can use against the bigger guns, but the Yaks and Nate would be cannon fodder against her “Hizzy might”.
Rank: 6, 7 if she goes all out in pissed-off rage mode

Quill: As far as I’m concerned, I would be in between where Dave is and where Scott is. I don’t have the ability to let go and snap and kill a motherfucker, I have too much damn control to let myself do that. Scott and Dave have said that I’m one of the strongest, Corey has admitted the same to me, and in a recent conversation, Dave said that if I managed to go into a blind rage, a baseball bat to the face would be needed to put me out. Plus, my control over my intelligence MIGHT be there in the rage, given the control I practice. Maybe I’m over-rating myself, maybe I’m selling myself short on this one, I don’t know, but I think that in an all-or-nothing fight, I could hold my own for quite awhile. I have the physicality for it, and I also have a level of intelligence above barreling in with no thought. I also have my “rhino rage technique”, which increases my attacks by focusing my bodily energy into a state of overdrive for more strength, endurance, and speed. “Rhino rage” has its downfalls though, as it burns up energy reserves and can drain you fast if you aren’t careful. I’m more of a street fighter than any kind of trained fighting style, but I’m no slouch either. I’m also not big on taking hits as well as Dave does, so that’s another hindrance.
Rank: 8.5 normal, 9 when in “rhino rage”, 9.5 or above if you share Dave’s view on me completely unleashed

Well, anyway, I think that covers everyone who would actually fight (save for the Yaks, who would probably just assume watch with popcorn in hand, but we would throw them in just for fun anyway). Let me know what you all think, and please, if any of you have any input as to MY ranking, comment!

Quote of the Blog: “The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing.” – Marcus Aurelius

(I changed it to Quote of the Blog instead of Quote of the Day, because sometimes I post more than one time a day…take about long! This posting is 2,102 words! I beat the “novel” blog, good god!)

...good news and...ducks?...

I got congratulated this morning on that bid that I put in; Doug said I did a very good job. Damn, that feels good, to know that I’m of value like that. It’s even better that we got awarded the bid. I’m definitely on my way in this company now.

So here I sit, listening to 105.7, and sipping on some fine Mountain Dew, enjoying my Friday. I’m glad it’s Friday for two reasons: 1) Tomorrow is Saturday, which means guy’s night is almost here. I enjoy guy’s nights, being a married guy. Why, you ask (or maybe you didn’t)? Because when you’re married, you’re around girly stuff ALL THE TIME. Not that I mind, I love being married, but sometimes I need the whole guy/testosterone/idiocy thing. God, I love the idiocy. I can’t tell you how much I laugh when I’m with the boys. It’s like a comedy club for free…

Saturday night will be this karaoke contest thing at the place Corey is running it. It should prove to be a good time, plus maybe I’ll find out I’m a better singer than I thought (although I doubt it). I’ve been told that I’m a good singer, but sometimes I hear myself and I think “god, that sucks”. We’ll see.

Anyway, this may be my only post today, but I may have more to say later. But for now, enjoy this discussion topic:

“Grudge match of the ducks!!!

Darkwing Duck vs. Gizmo-Duck (Duck-Tales) vs. Donald Duck (in uber-angry mode) vs. Daffy Duck (alternating between Duck Dodgers of the 21st-and-a-half-century & classic sadastic Daffy) vs. Duckman vs. Howard the Duck vs. Scrooge McDuck (in you-just-took-all-my-money mode)

Who wins? Who loses? Who loses worst of all?”

This is a topic that I started on a comic book characters fighting forum, and it got really hilarious results!! This is just one of them, posted by a guy called “Adam Chapman”:

“Darkwing Duck is Batman. A Batman that routinely trips over himself, and isn't the world's greatest detective, but in this 'bout, he doesn't need to be.

Gizmo Duck is fast, but isn't always in complete control of his abilities- on top of that, he isn't that smart in a fight. Donald Duck, in angry mode, is pretty dangerous, because I think he'd fight really dirty (remember him versus Daffy in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?)

Duckman only has the temper, not the physicality to back him up in this fight. Howard can use a sword, but more often than not will just swing humorous barbs. Scrooge McDuck, when in the you-just-took-all-my-money mode is for the most part harmless.

Darkwing Duck just barely takes this battle.
Donald Duck could probably take second
Gizmo Duck gets lucky and gets third
Daffy and Duckman stand there screaming at each other while Scrooge pays Howard to stab them both, and then Scrooge kills Howard.”

LOL!! I’d like to know what YOU guys think about this ‘fight of the feathered fowls’…plus, it should prove for some laughs. Have at it! (If any of you care.)

End transmission.

Quote of the Day: “I rant, therefore I am.” – Dennis Miller

...connections and coincidences...

Sometimes, I wonder why things happen the way they do. I’m talking about fate here, people. I mean, if I hadn’t come to Oakville, I wouldn’t have met Scott, wouldn’t have met anyone in Bug Juice, wouldn’t have been the guy I am today, wouldn’t have met my wife, and so-on and so-forth. Now, I suppose I could come to the same conclusion, cause and effect-wise, if things had happened differently, but there’s definitely a point to it. It’s as if something was guiding me and is still guiding me to some future destiny. Some things are waaaay too specific in nature to be purely coincidence. For instance, my marriage: I just happen to be the best-man at Quazi’s wedding, which Heather is at for no other reason than she was along to help Michelle and her father. She was going to leave because Joe Dimitro and Mark West were there (now that I look back on it, I don’t blame her LOL), but she managed to still be there when I asked her to dance, and then it gets weirder…Scott, my best friend, knows her, and she’s lived across the street from Chick (Scott’s grandmother) forever. It’s scary how specific all that is. Coincidence? I think not. I definitely think there’s a driving force behind things like this, I really do.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking: the whole “we were meant to be” shtick is sappy and played-out. But, just consider for a moment how connected everything was. Of note, Heather was one of the major differences in me wanting to actually DO something with my college career, and later gave me the support I needed, which led me to where I am today.

In a related topic…one of the bids I worked on got us awarded the work! This would mark my very first victory in construction estimating, something that isn’t always easy to pull off. For those of you who don’t know, this is how it works: my company, LaClair Construction Services, goes to bid on a job. Companies A through D are ALSO bidding on the same job as us. The company that presents the most beneficial cost and most attractive offer of how much it would be to do the work is awarded the bid. That means that at the same time I’m working, other professionals are working just as hard, with a lot more experience than me. Lots of things come into play with all this, such as: which company does the work themselves versus which company subcontracts portions of the work out to others, which company has the advantage of getting materials cheaper, whether a given company skimps on materials and therefore is questionable in the quality of their work; the list goes on and on, but the main idea is the numbers on the page, which is where a construction estimator, like me, comes in. So, for MY cost estimate to be chosen over someone’s who has been at this for years is pretty damn impressive. Have I mentioned lately that I absolutely LOVE my job? :)

On the other side of work, I waited for an hour for an electrical inspector to show up to the jobsite this morning. He showed up, one of the houses failed, and about 30 seconds after he pulled away in his car, the guy from Accord Electric shows up. Fuck. Now, we need to get another inspection appointment. Not something that affects me personally, it’s more Doug’s project than anything, but it still makes me mad that I wasn’t able to stall the guy from St. Clair Public Works long enough.

I’m really liking my “Quote of the Day” section of my blog…it gives me a feeling of uniqueness and originality. What do you guys think, though? (Not that I’ll stop doing it if you guys hate it, but I would still like to know what your thoughts are.)

I sent flowers to Heather today, for the occasion of her first day back at SCOPE, this time as a contracted teacher. She has been nervous about it, so I thought I’d brighten her day a bit. I hope to Christ that the Flowerama people didn’t fuck it up for me. I’ll know soon enough.

I just realized that I haven’t done anything physical in a long time (moshing, sword fighting, sparring, etc.). I must correct this matter, as I thoroughly enjoy tossing people around and being tossed around. And no, it’s not a gay thing; it’s a love-of-battle thing. Speaking of which, I should really work on a posting about my fellow ‘Juicers and their abilities in matters of physicality. Some will be surprised. More on that later, it’s something that has to be worked on and thought out…

Scott has a new drinking buddy. Congrats to him! However, I have concerns, and I don’t believe they’re off base. Scott can drink…this motherfucker can put them away like no other, save for Heather. I think he even beats Corey at this point on drinking. But whether he can take it all day and night with no effect doesn’t change the fact that A) it’s not healthy and B) it can easily lead to alcoholism. Now, some would say I’m just jealous because I’m no big drinker and can’t front. Not true; at one point, I was a contender, but I don’t make it a point to drink that often, and I think it’d be bad if I did health-wise. Truth be told, I really don’t know HOW much I could take alcohol-wise, given the same conditioning that Scott has undergone (i.e. drinking a shitload in several sittings). Perhaps some day, we may find out. But no, I’m not jealous, just concerned about my friend. Scott, if (more like WHEN) you’re reading this, I hope to god I haven’t pissed you off with it, you know there’s truth to this, though. Just be careful with that shit.

At any rate, I must go…long days and pleasant nights, sai.

Quote of the Day: “No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed.” – Harold MacMillan

(Yes, that was for my mom, too. And yes, I realize this would technically be the THIRD “Quote of the Day” posted – er – today.)