...things have gotten out of control...

My blog certainly is at the epicenter of controversy right now, isn’t it? In a way, it’s flattering that what I have to say has such an effect. In another way…goddammit.

There really is something to be said about keeping your trap shut. Sure, this is my journal and I can write about anything I feel like, but when I do that, I’d better be prepared to defend myself. Perhaps I should do that, ‘keep my trap shut.’ It would make things so much easier. (Hizzy probably knows how this feels, too, she even puts “Let the ass jumping begin” at the end of rants that will get ‘those kind’ of responses.) Make no mistake though…I write about what I think and feel on this page, that’s just the way it’s going to be. However, here ARE some things I AM sorry for:

Hizzy: Sorry if I did anything to make you feel less of a friend. I’ve been busy, and I haven’t been dictating my time effectively. Now I know how you feel getting jumped on for your posts. I will try to be better about that.

Beaver: Sorry about the whole deal with the wedding rehearsal dinner. Check your blog, you’ll see a more lengthy explanation. Why apologize for THAT now? Beaver is my friend, and I will do that for him.

Hizzy & Beaver: Sorry if you guys felt stuck in the middle of this thing between Erich and me. In the future, I will not bring anything having to do with this to either of your attentions, I’ll just keep quiet about all of it. All that I ask is the respect to let me handle it the way I choose, even if that means I don’t come to a party or two. (If I miss out, I miss out, after all…it doesn’t cause you guys to miss anything.)

Now, on to OTHER things:

Shark: I was angered by your post. I realize now that you honestly don’t know why I stopped talking to you. I will explain at a later time. Right now, I’m sorry for overreacting, and I’m sorry that you felt alone. My support at this time will never make up for that, but I still throw it at you nonetheless. I never thought I was better than anyone, especially you. You may not believe that, but it IS the deal. In fact, you may not believe ANY of this, and I don’t blame you, but this IS the deal. Once again, get home safe to your children and your family, and God be with you. For what it’s worth, I wish I could take your shit away from you so you wouldn’t have to go through half of what you’ve been through. Also, “I hope he gets his ass handed to him” was taken completely out of context and blown out of proportion by Phoenix (sorry Jess, but it was); a lot of people think you need humility, whether it’s true or not is highly debatable. That was never intended to mean “I hope he gets his ass shot” or anything anywhere CLOSE to that. Jess told you about that because it offended her, so I don’t blame her for it, but it needed to be addressed.

Erich: Maybe I am a fool, I don’t know. I know you don’t read this journal, so I’ll be calling you. Hopefully something (good) will come of it. The point about eight years of friendship counting for something works on my end as well.

My last post should not have been directed at Hizzy so much, and I apologize to her for whatever it’s worth (which might not be very much). I thought she was in this for the conflict; I was mistaken. But, the OTHER main idea of the post was this: Don’t interject yourself into someone else’s drama. Let it be between the two of them (or three of them, or whatever). And now, I have people literally flocking to this like flies to honey, all because I vent in my blog. Please, I implore you guys, please stay out of my affairs with other people. I really don’t need or want everyone I know involved in my personal affairs. If I ask for help, that’s another thing, but come on. Seriously. THIS is the kind of thing that turns a mountain into a molehill. Perhaps it’s MY fault for even discussing it with certain people, if I hadn’t talked about it, people wouldn’t know my opinions and thoughts. There doesn’t need to be a mudslide of people jumping on this wagon, there really doesn’t. This isn’t a group thing.

I should have stuck to talking about mundane things like strength, Quillcade, and Juice Wars posts…

Quote of the Blog: “The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy: neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.” – John W. Gardner