...new stuff!!...

Well, my computer is back...still have a few minor updates and programs to get, but all in all, the new system KICKS ASS!!! My humble thanks go out to Joe Behrens and his god-like skills with computers.

I picked up Breaking Benjamin "We Are Not Alone" and Lost Prophets "Start Something" today...good shit! So good, in fact, that I actually have a song of the moment, which is something I debated doing for reasons of pissing others off, but the two people I know who could possibly complain both do it, so it's not like I'm stealing any kind of originality.

I just ordered DVDs as well: Matrix, Matrix Reloaded, Gladiator, The Rundown, Eurotrip Unrated Edition, National Lampoon's Animal House Double-Secret Probation Edition, and Speed Special Five Star Collection (and yes, all of them are Widescreen Special Editions). Life is good.

In addition to all that, I got new equipment at work for my office. Sweet.

Just thought I'd post that information, as if anyone cares.

Song Of The Moment: Lost Prophets - Make A Move

...the return of the king (of quill)...

Well, Tom’s bachelor party was fun. We ended up coming home early because I missed Heather too much. I don’t know if Tom was thrilled with that idea or not, and if he wasn’t I sincerely apologize to him. I had to see my woman, though.

Tomorrow is the Scarlet Whore concert. Today, my RIGHT ear is feeling clogged, so I think maybe whatever was in my left ear is now in the right. That’s a bad thing; it means if I’m not feeling better by tomorrow morning, I shouldn’t mosh and should get on more meds. It sucks, because the last concert I couldn’t go because I had to work late, and now this – I wouldn’t be surprised if Radihoe thought I was trying to ditch her shows. That’s not the case, I love to pit and I love hard music. So, Andrea, if I can’t make it to the show, it’s because my right ear is becoming infected, NOT because I don’t want to go to the show.

Speaking of music, I recently lost all of my mp3s. To make a long story short, there was a problem in upgrading my computer and my second hard drive had to be wiped. So now, I’m back at square one. Fortunately, my Gravity Kills collection is still there, and I’m getting back whatever I lost from it. Also fortunately, I didn’t lose my Sonic mp3s or my television themes. Also, several of my friends, and my fellow whores from the old GK message board are sending me mp3 relief, so I’ve got literally TONS of music coming my way in the next month or two. In addition to that, I have my cds, and Scott’s cds, to make mp3s from, so the jukebox will live again.

Also, the porn empire took a hit from this fiasco. We lost half the pics we had logged, and some video content, and the stories. The pics, stories, and videos will be built back up, Joe says. I believe him at his word, so the PE is still strong.

That’s all I have to report at the moment. End transmission.

...to my angel...

I don't have much time today, work is busy today. Already I was out at the job-site doing some labor stuff, and I'm at lunch. Then I have trip preparations for Springfield, so it's hectic right now...

Heather, I know I haven't been home a lot this week, and I'm sorry for that. Between trying to get my computer done and hanging out with Scott and Beaver before they left, things got away from me. I promise I will make it all up to you. Thank you for putting up with my hectic tendencies, I love you with all of my heart, truly I do. Remember, next week it's just you and me, with only a couple of exceptions (i.e. dinner plans on Friday, work, etc.), so get ready for some date nights! (Weird that we're married and still having "dates", huh? LOL)

Alright. I'm done for now. I will update my blog sometime Monday after my whirlwind tour of...Springfield, Missouri. Heh.

P.S. Good luck at the HBA Home Show, Scuba! Sorry about your truck, Joe. Give Chrissy my condolences on her car, Hizzy. Scott, I'm glad you're working with somewhat of a decent partner now. Beaver, either talk to your team and make them stop their shit or get out of there, seriously, it's way past time.

...the "I can't believe it's not a novel" blog...

The following is taken from my comment on Scott’s latest blog:

“There's alot of stuff I haven't done that I thought might be cool to do, simply because I didn't want it to be an issue...when I put stickers on my car, people thought I was trying to copy Scott; when I talked about Quillcade, Murph and Corey suspected I was being a copycat; it just becomes a contest of who was the originator and who's a copy. And it shouldn't be that way. If something I or someone else does is cool enough, I don't blame anyone for doing it as well, like swords or GK, or building an arcade machine. Anyway, too much drama running rampant...shouldn't be that way. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't part of it-the shitty thing is, it's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation, because if I ignored it, I'd be anti-social, and if I react to it at all, I'm facilitating it's growth. Damned social infrastructure, oh how I hate you! LOL”

And these are excerpts from what I posted on Hizzy’s latest two blogs:

1) “Here's yet another free bit of advice from a friend to a friend: stop caring about whether people "give you credit" - that's not why you should want to succeed. You should want success for success' sake. And also, recognize when you get credit and you'll be happy.”
2) “Just be more confident in yourself and your own accomplishments, and don't put so much emphasis on being "important" or "recognized"-trust me, it's a double-edged sword that will cut you at the first opportunity.”

Why did I (re)post these excerpts? Analyzation, of course.

On the Scott Blog quote: It really is a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” structure that we have in our circle; maybe it’s that way with every social situation. I mean, I don’t name any names in my blog when I talk about stuff, because it seems a good way to cover my ass and not embarrass someone (even though the person I refer to would obviously know it was them anyway). And like with other situations, if I ignore it and opt to take the high ground and not play the high school game, I’m either seen as the “neglectful friend” or the “snobby asshole”…OR…I react in some way, ANY way, no matter how democratic and insightful, and I’m STILL facilitating the continuation of the bullshit. Both choices either continue or spawn bullshit. Social interaction sucks when it comes to this. It’s great when everything is bright and happy, but then when you get into “he said/she said” or “this person is an asshole because blah blah blah fyuh fyuh”…there’s no way to win. There has got to be a better way. There just HAS to. I don’t have any clue as to what, but we have to find it. Can I get an amen? (No, I’m not talking about any particular person(s) or situation(s) here, I’m just giving generic examples based on past events. PLEASE take note of that.)

On the Hizzy Blog Post 1: I can understand people wanting to be recognized for something big and important. Hell, it’s great when you get pats on the back, we all know this. But, the whole follower/copycat/one-up stuff is out of control, as Scott already stated. I mean, I don’t view people as copycats and followers for doing something that everyone and his brother does, like blogging/journals. If someone were to start calling themselves the Prince of Quill and start playing with a foam Buster sword and claiming to be the biggest “whore” in our group, THEN I would view that person as a copycat and probably be pissed about it. And with good reason, as it would mean my individuality would be compromised. Besides, people wouldn’t be too happy with more than one of me around, making jokes and insults (well, Heather might, but that’s a different situation LOL). But I don’t see many instances where individuality is being threatened…I see things like marriage, music, journals, arcade boxes, stickers, karaoke, and countless other situations being treated like a competition. If we were all married, that doesn’t mean one marriage is better than another, nor does it mean that one relationship is of deeper meaning and greater love than another. And karaoke? Shit, like any of us are American Idols, right? I sure as hell am not. Point is, we’re all unique, we all have specialness that is unique to us, and we should all stop competing for a position of dominance that in the end only leads to becoming viewed as the biggest asshole ever. (Again, I’m not talking about any people or specific situations, just stating examples.)

On the Hizzy Blog Post 2: I’ve found that being the center of attention generally places you at the center of conflict as well. This is what I mean by double-edged sword. It’s dangerous to be the center of a "social universe", because things that you do and say ripple out and effect opinions of you, and your individual relationships. On the other hand, if you’re orbitting the center of the “social universe”, you can say and do things with a higher degree of safety. I used to be at, or close to, the center of things back in the Oakville Senior days of this group dynamic (and so was Scott), and it was great for awhile. I can’t speak for Scott’s experience, but people would come to me for advice, and most of the time when I had a plan of action for what we were going to do, we did it. But it got sour, because my opinions and views and advice became less popular as I evolved and grew as a person. And, I think, because I was at that center, it was easy to focus on, almost like a gravitational thing. I’m NOT saying that I was or am the center of everyone’s attention, but when you have someone who’s a common link between several people, and that common link is around all the time and involved in several situations, it’s very easy to talk about that person. I think it would be better explained this way: Scott, me, Heather, Beaver, Dave, Hizzy…these are just a few examples of the “core people” in our group of friends. There are others, but I’m just giving a couple of examples. Now, Nathan Berry and Chris DeLarbar, they aren’t around as much as the “core people”, so they could be put in a “orbit people” category. Simply, “core people” are around more, they’re involved in more situations, they voice their opinions more often (because they are there), and are thus subject to more criticism and attention. “Orbit people”, on the other hand, aren’t around a lot, when they ARE around they don’t know enough about current dealings and goings on to make too serious of a judgment, and they aren’t involved with every social interaction and situation; so they fall under the radar of scutiny. Basically, out of sight, out of mind. (One way to think of it; I’m not implying that when people aren’t around they don’t matter, but you get the jist of it. I hope.) And yes, Scott, you are gone out of town a lot, but you are nonetheless involved and active in what goes on. And, as I said, being a “orbit person” doesn’t mean you’re not important or thought of, it just guages your level of involvement and attendance. The number of “core people” and who those people are changes depending on if people move away, have children, go to college for a few years, etc. Now, this is of course all theoretical talk about our group dynamic, and you can certainly disagree; I just found it an interesting concept.

All the above states is that sometimes, it’s better to be relatively unimportant and a face in the crowd than it is to be the local hero or linchpin in the machine. I’m sure several people can agree with me on that.

…

Whew! God, that was one long-winded blog!!! Holy shit…this post is 1,515 words long (I checked)!! Well, I hope you enjoyed reading it. I think that my blog finally posted something of some kind of deeper significance here…not like my usual schtick of “I’m so strong” or “I ate cheese today”…(Aw, man!…ok, that last comment was a dig at ME, not at any of the people I know who have blogs or journals. Every journal is unique and has individual value. Just thought I’d put that disclaimer in there. I almost feel like Dave being so paranoid. DAMMIT!!…ok, Dave, you’ve admitted that you’re paranoid, and that it’s a good thing, and to some extent I agree with you. So, please don’t get mad at me calling you paranoid, as you have called yourself that.)

I’m ending this damn thing before I get in more trouble. Like from the Republicans. (Goddammit to hell!!…ok, I apologize to the Republican party for…)

LOL

...road trip...

I'm going to Springfield tomorrow for my friend Tom's bachelor party...should be a good time. Dave's going to be my co-pilot on this run, so it should make for some good company. Then September 1st (I think) I have a Scarlet Whore concert to attend. Other than that, it's Steve and Heather time all the way for awhile, as I haven't had much time with her lately, and I miss my wife. Heather, if you read this, get ready for some consecutive date nights once I get back! :) Love you!

Congrats to Hizzy on her successful show last night! If the show I go to is half as good, I'll be one lucky bastard.

Thanks go out to Joe for (almost) getting my computer done. In another few days, after I get all my updates and programs, I will be ready to nerd out with my new system.

I can't wait for the DVDs that I have ordered...I'll do a listing of them later, right now it's work time. Sorry for the short post, I'll try to write more a little later (like this is the New York Times, right?).

...some people don't know anything...

I had meant to post on this topic over a week ago, because it struck a nerve, and I'm just getting to it now.

While he was still in St. Louis, Nathan Berry told me that Gravity Kills' third and final album, Superstarved, "sounded like a country album" and that "it sucked."

...

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. However, how you could possibly mistake a band like Gravity Kills for a country band, I cannot fathom. One would have to have the musical taste of a moron to hear country music in that album. Nate, if you ever read this, I'm sorry, but you said that comment to the absolute WRONG guy. I should have beaten you. What's next, Britney Spears puts out the next great death metal album? I mean, COME ON! I give as much leeway as anyone else on musical tastes and preferences, but you couldn't BE more off on this one. Anyone who knows me at all understands why this struck a nerve. I'm a "whore" through and through, and them's most definitely fightin' words right there.

In other news, I've been sick, and developing an ear infection, but now I'm on antibiotics, so it's under control. Just thought I'd share.

Blog-mania has hit our circle, it seems. And there seems to be a question of who started it first. Well, Hizzy had her LiveJournal, but that does NOT mean she "started" this journal craze. If she wants to get technical, Jason Gyrog had his journal on his site long before that (I think). Even if I'm off on Jason doing it first, if Hizzy had started it, it would have been started long before now. Scott started one, and I'd always meant to do something like this, I just never did it until Scott recommended it from hearing me talk about it. After that, Vince, Jess, Beaver...everyone started doing this, which is cool. I won't say what I think "started the ball rolling", but I do have an opinion on it. And there's nothing wrong with "being a follower" as people seem to call it, blogging is fun and cool, and people are now getting into it. It's not like people are writing about the same things, after all...I'm sure Scott agrees, as he and I consistently seem to be of like-minded opinions. Hey Scott, what do you say? :)

Anyway, time to work...earn money...get phat paid. Later!

...almost forgot...

Congratulations to Nick Wilson on your newborn son, Jordy Scott Wilson. Soon, they will beam little Jordy home, and...just kidding, man. My most sincere congrats to you!

Good luck to Beaver on his senior semester at college, I know you'll do great, man.

Congrats to all the new blogspot people, have fun with your blogs.

I love you, Heather. (I had to...)

...credits earned vs. competition...

Ahh…so many of my friends now have blogs. Soon, I will figure out how to get their links on here so you can view them, too (as if anyone besides my friends reads my stuff, right?).

On to today’s topic: competition. Remember in kindergarten when you would have races at recess and all that good stuff? It was fun. It was as a competition should be – friendly. Before I continue, let me make a statement…

I myself do not make a competition out of anything. Many would claim that I do, and that’s their claim to make, but the fact is I don’t play that game. Yes, I am proud of my strength increase. Yes, I like to mosh, spar, sword-fight, wrestle around; basically, I like to cut loose sometimes. Do I think I’m the strongest of all of my friends, completely unbeatable, and the baddest of the bad? No, I do not, sir. I think I am strong, which is a fact that has been proven and documented, and I think my strength is above that of an average person; I think that in a fight with someone of high strength, for example Dave or Corey, I would be able to hold my own at least for a little while, maybe even win it if I can get lucky. Have I stated publicly that I am stronger than my good friend, Beaver? Yes, I have; but Dan and I have agreed on that, as have others. Beaver has qualities and skills that I do not, in which he kicks my ass, such as math and paintball. Basically, I only give myself the credit that I have earned, nothing more. It’s not like I’m invincible or anything. Call bullshit on me if you wish, but give me an example that proves me wrong if you’re going to do so.

I notice the patterns of “I was first in this…I’m the door-opener…look at MY girl, don’t you want her?…I’m better than you…I know more about blah blah” in our circle, and it’s hilarious to me. Everyone wants to stake a claim to fame. What people who do this don’t realize is, they already have things they are famous for, that they get credit for every day. I will give examples: Scott is infamous for his humor and love of things demonic, and for being a damn fine salesman. Dave is famous for gaming, and being THE most hardcore guy around. Hizzy is known for the whole metal music thing. Beaver’s knack is for paintball. Corey is known for his sometimes-unbelievable strength and resiliency against damage. (Note: These people are not necessarily the people I was referring to at the beginning of this paragraph. Isn’t funny how carefully one has to cover their ass?)

Point is, we’re all “famous” for things, and we’re all good at different things. Life is not a competition. Marriage, strength, knowing more about a certain type of music, which music is good and which is bad, being the founder of a trend…they really aren’t a competition. Embrace what YOU are good at, and give the proper respect to those who are good at other things. Life will be easier and more fun.

And, on a closing note: I am well aware that I go on and on about the whole strength thing here, and that my journal is nothing particularly deep and philisophical. However, that doesn't make mine a "lesser" or "lower quality" journal. Claiming such a thing would imply that one thinks what they have to say and think about is of more value than another person, and this would be very, very egotistical and ego-centric. Right, Hizzy? (Huh? Steve digs BACK?? Surprise, surprise...)

Also, becoming a parent does NOT put you in a higher maturity bracket. I can name a few parents I know who aren't any more adult than high-schoolers.

...lounging around...

Well, I'm at the 'rents house doing laundry...fun times. And I also have no idea what to write about. Not that I ever say anything philosophical on this journal anyway...

Happy birthday to the Hizzy, today is her official birthday.

I hope we get to do something tonight, but having this sinus thing really sucks. Hopefully this is as bad as it gets, with the stuffy nose and itchy throat.

I got Slipknots new cd, and X-Men 1.5 for my birthday so far, as well as $30. And I've been told that I have more presents forthcoming. That's awesome!

I will write more later when I actually have something to talk about...

...aging ain't bad...

Happy Birthday to me! Usually, I try to get something together to celebrate my birthday. However, by the time I actually pull together what I would want to do, it will be weeks past my birthday, so I'm just going to get some people together and have a good time at a later date. Oddly enough, Hizzy's birthday is tomorrow, but she's celebrating it today, on my birthday. Don't worry guys, she DID have the curtousy to ask if that was ok, and since I'm doing something with Heather tonight, I gave her the O.K...

Congrats to Amanda on her new job! I'm really happy for you, I know the hell of trying to find a job in this economy all too well. Good job!

Congrats to Scuba Steve, his job likes him and is keeping him! E&M now proudly boasts an upcoming professional from SEMO's Construction Management degree...

I will report back later about how I made out for my birthday...for now, it's work time.

...getting to know...me?...

Steve aka The Quilled One, The King of Quill, Quill, Muffin Man, Sonic, Shockman, Clydesdale, The Crippler, Goku

Thought I would take a moment to inform about the many nicknames I have had over the years. Not that any of you care, mind you, I just thought it’d be a neat post, informative and fun.

My first nickname was Sonic. Reason? Because I like Sonic the Hedgehog, so much that at one time I was a collector of Sonic merchandise and collectibles. And I always drew Sonic and Sonic-like characters.

From Sonic came my next nickname. Scott always used to do variations of it, calling me “spiky-haired friend” and “porcupine.” Well, one day he calls me up, and as soon as I say hello, Scott says, “King of Quill, what’s up?” Needless to say, I liked that. A lot. And so did Scott and just about everyone else. It was certainly better than “Sonic.” So, the name stuck, and it’s been said to stand for many things. One is because my hair was porcupine-like. Another is because I am a smart-ass, and we just dubbed the word ‘quill’ to mean ‘to insult or to crack jokes’ (see the Bug Juice dictionary: www.geocities.com/bugjuice001/). And there’s also that it’s just a play on words that sounds better than Sonic. The name has three variations to it, and I use all three: King of Quill, Quill, and The Quilled One.

Now on to those other nicknames…ugh…

Shockman: A guy named Joe Murphy called me this every day he saw me in high school. It was because my hair “looked like I got electrocuted.”

Clydesdale: This one I’m actually kind of proud of. I worked for three summers with Mehlville School District, and I gained a reputation for working my ass off and lifting incredibly heavy objects. Also because I would work harder than other college guys, and I usually liked to keep working instead of taking a million breaks. One guy I worked for started calling me Clydesdale because he said "I was like a work horse." He also said I was a beast lifting all that stuff like I did, and I guess Clydesdale is the biggest horse he could think of.

The Crippler: This is actually a wrestling inside joke too, given by my friends Tom and Jon at SMS. I do swords, and I would often accidentally…um…hurt people in duels. Some are that I gave one guy a concussion on two different occasions, delivered countless unintended nut shots, and broke another guys hand. (I swear none of it was intentional.)

Goku: Well, I like DBZ. And I have been known to eat a lot; I like working out (training) and sparring around; I can be a tad slow sometimes; I went through a rapid increase in physical strength between when I left for college and when I returned; and some of my training included wearing really heavy weights, including a vest, during swords and workouts. These are all qualities that remind of the character Goku from the Dragonball series.

Muffin Man: Long story short – I tried to bake muffins in my sleep. I know what you’re thinking, “wtf?!”, believe me, that’s how I feel, too. It’s a funny nickname, Scott’s girlfriend Amanda uses it the most.

Now you know…and knowing is half the battle. GO JOE…uh, yeah.

..."duh, what's a choice?"...

Ahhh, another lunch time at my job. God, I love this.

Down to business: Scott, sorry you had to go through the hassle (you know what I'm talking about). As I said, I do appreciate it.

Scenario: You're in a room full of friends, and you're playing a game called "Choices"...in this game, someone opens a question to the group with two options you can take. These options are not always pleasant, in fact, with US, they rarely ever are, and it can often force you to admit you would sleep with someone undesirable, of the same sex, or eat something gross rather than, say, kill your own mother or blow up an orphanage. The RULE OF THIS GAMES IS: You have to choose one of the two choices given, there ARE NO "I would just kill myself" or "I choose to do blah blah blah" cop outs. You can justify your choice all you want, you can say "well, I would let the prison guys rape me instead of killing my mother because I could always kill the prison guys for revenge later", unless of course, a condition is thrown in (i.e. You cannot kill the prison guys, they will rape you forever until you die and you will never get revenge). My question to YOU is...how dumb can you be not to get this game?

Yak herd members, I'm sorry, I love you guys, but sometimes...god, sometimes you guys astound me. Beaver, this doesn't apply to you, YOU get it, you are the SMART one. I mean, MY GOD...

There's also an issue with fighting for your survival, and I won't go too in-depth on it, only to say that one of the yak herd *cough* Justin Bower *cough* would rather let someone kill him than kill to defend his own life when it comes right down to it (because of religious reasons, no less). Justin, you're a good guy, albeit kind of odd, and I will be sad to see you get your Darwin Award later on down the line...

I really think Scott and I should have our own radio program, ala Howard Stern-style. We have the makings of quite the Whack-Pack in our midsts, so there's an endless supply of material to exploit and poke fun at. Last night at Joe's should have been recorded on audio; we did get kind of loud though, myself especially. Apologies to Joe and to his upstairs neighbors.

...lonely mofo...

Well, Heather has been on her family trip for a couple of days now, and I miss her extremely. I hate to be the kind of person that depends on having someone else around, and I suppose it would be different if I wasn't married and used to the company...but I guess that's who I am after all.

Saw Alien vs. Predator Sunday night. I'm seeing it again tonight. It's a damn good movie, despite what reviews it's getting. Tonight will be fun.

Work is going well so far, I should be getting a pay raise soon (I hope). At least that's what I was told, after 30 days my pay would be going up. If that doesn't happen right away, I'm happy to be here regardless.

I have nothing else to report. Save for that Beaver and I are friends still. It was very odd, usually when I prepare for the worst like that, the worst happens, but not this time. This time, I was spared the usual immaturity that I have to deal with in these types of deals. It was odd, but very nice for a change.

...pariah...

I know this topic has gotten old very quickly, so this will be the last post about it. I hope.

I have been doing some soul-searching, and I have decided that I need not hate myself for the shit that went down. Like I said to Andrea, it's not like I'm Satan, I'm just dumb. Meaning, I didn't wake up and ask myself "How can I hurt someone's feelings today?", I just failed to think before I typed/spoke. That's a common occurrence with me, unfortunately. However, it does separate me from being someone who MEANS to hurt someone, despite that the end result is much the same. People will no doubt have their opinions that differ from that view, and that's fine; at least I know I'm not an evil and malicious person.

Also, I find this next fact very funny. The person who is on my ass about being made fun of too much, both does it himself to others and also led me and everyone else who does it to him to believe that he was cool with it. Now, of course, none of that really changes anything, but it does raise the following questions:

1) Ok, so you don't like people (in this instance, me) making mean remarks about you. Fine. But then why would you turn around and see no problem at all doing it to someone else? How can it work that it's okay for you call someone fat, or a slut and a stupid bitch that you want to kill, or taking delight in verbal abusing P.V. every chance you get, but then when it's your turn for someone to talk about you, you have to be upset about it? That sounds a bit hypocritical to me. At least I let people rip into me as much as they want...I do this because of my long history of making jokes and making fun, and I figure it's only fair that it happens to me, too. In fact, I encourage it. And if you want to say it doesn't happen, ask Scott or Joe how many "Steve is dumb as a brick" jokes have been made as of late.

2) Now that you've gone off on me for calling you ugly, are you going to go after the other guys? I mean, I'm not the only one who picks on you--oh sure, I have that reputation for doing it, but it's not just me. I won't name the people, but there are several, and everyone knows this. And, if you're NOT going to bitch at everyone else, why not? How can the word "ugly" be more offensive coming from ME than it does from someone else? IT'S THE SAME WORD NO MATTER WHO SAYS IT. Sometimes it almost seems like it's okay and just joking around when the other guys do it, but when I do it it's suddenly an issue.

3) I couldn't count the times all of us, myself included, have asked you to tell us if we're out of line. To communicate to us when we've gone too far with our joking, or when we've made a joke which shouldn't be made. And what did you do? You told us it was okay, that you didn't care, that you thought it was funny. And still we asked you, "are you sure?" And still you claimed it was alright, it was just joking around. You even went so far as to make jokes yourself about it. Well, it's good that you finally spoke up about it, even though you probably should have earlier to avoid it coming to this situation. However, in all honesty, with you telling us it was okay, and making jokes yourself, and acting all cool about it even though we asked to make sure...what did you expect us to think? What did you expect ME to think especially, with the way I am? Despite what many believe, I am aware that I have a filter problem with my joking, and don't always know when enough is too much. This is why I ask people to tell me what not to say or when I've gone too far with something.

Anyway, in closing (finally, right?), whatever Beaver decides to do from here is his call, and I certainly don't blame him if he never spoke to me again. But it's not like I was intentionally trying to dick my friend, and I won't be told that I was. And I would hope that Dan would now spare doing this to someone else, or at least make it known to others that he doesn't like something and allow it to continue until he snaps again. And, once again: Dan, I am sorry.

...no title...

It's really funny how people work. By this I mean, people are human, and they make the stupidest mistakes ever sometimes. Everyone does this; there isn't a person alive that hasn't made a major screw up.

The person I happen to be talking about is myself. I sent out a survey via email to everyone, and I figured it would be interesting to see what people answered. One of the questions was bad, asking about who was the ugliest person they knew. And, stupid me, I put down my friend (maybe former friend now) Beaver. Now, Beaver is always being put down, and he never seems to mind it, so that's the only reason I didn't think "hey, this might be hurtful". HOWEVER, that's not an excuse, it's just the reason. There IS NO excuse for it, and I really am sorry for doing it. Sometimes I wish I could erase some things that I've done; but since that is impossible, all I can do is be a man and admit when I'm wrong, and apologize for it.

I don't know whether Dan (Beaver) reads my blog, but I needed to post about it anyway. Even if he did, I'm sure he's still too mad to really care that I apologized and whatnot. I will say this to him though, and to everyone: everyone makes mistakes. And I AM sorry for hurting your feelings. I know that I have a habit of pissing people off with my smartass schtick, but it's never intentional. I wish I could say that it was for any other reason other than I am a dumbass sometimes, but I can't. I am a dumbass sometimes.

Almost 8:00, so it's now time to work. Catch you all later.

...almost...

Well, it is once again almost the weekend. I'm looking forward to the days off. Not that I don't love my job, I just like days off.

Scott: I almost got did it; there was no way I was getting that last one though. Touche, my friend. And your dreams are pretty entertaining, man. I can call you bike-fuck now. Heh.

Amanda: *sings* "Stand by your maaaaaaaaan....." Ok, that was gay. Sorry.

Heather: Congrats on your new car, baby! Even though I don't like the color, it's a pretty sweet ride. Snaps!

And now, it's work time. Wooo!

...ahhhh, yes...

Hey guys...yet another post on my blog. Ahhhh, yes.

Got my business cards, and they are fancy-schmancy! I'm very much loving this whole success thing; it's nice for a change, especially after struggling through so much bullshit. There are some who are put off by this recent success, but they'll just have to learn to live with it, haha.

The first three seasons of Seinfeld are coming out in November. The Friday the 13th Box Set is due out in October. The first two seasons of the tv series Sliders is already out. I have a lot of purchasing to do in the next couple of months! (In case you couldn't tell, I'm a bit of a dvd connoisseur...well, dvds of the stuff I like.)

Heather is getting a new car. She's looking at Chevy Impalas; it's great to see her so excited about it, and happy about it, too. Needless to say, we spent a bulk of the weekend going to car lots...not so fun, but there are rewards for driving around to car lots for your wife, let me tell you...

Every once in awhile, the tiny scruff of fur that I call a "goatee" (actually it could be considered a "half goatee") gets shaved off because I feel like seeing my face again. This was one of those times, but don't worry, scruffy will be back in a matter of weeks.

And, my computer is finally almost ready to come back to me. No, really, it is. And, by all indications from what I've seen, it's going to be 300% better than it was before. Then, work will begin on QUILLCADE, a combination arcade/jukebox/karaoke machine. Well, work on getting the parts to build it at least. So yes, there are lots of things in the works right now with me.

Later.