Tuesday, November 30, 2004

...not a retraction, just explanation...

I posted a comment yesterday that was rather harsh. Not in my blog, but in the comments section. I have since deleted it and replaced it with a much nicer comment. I nonetheless want to clear the air on some things…

I understand that people change. I understand that second chances are a good thing; because people are human, people make mistakes. But there are also lines of tolerance, and once those are crossed it’s a subjective matter whether you give further chances. Now, forgiveness is one thing; wiping the slate clean is another.

I’m sorry if this seems unfair to you, “Angel”. Understand, you weren’t the most pleasant person in the world to me when we first officially met (I was not aware of you at Oakville; I didn’t know several people who knew me there). On top of that, I cannot get past the treatment of my brother. Yes, I know he had his hand in that, too, eventually. But he wasn’t the one that started it. I took everything with grains of salt, giving chance upon chance, for varying reasons. I just reached a point where I don’t want to do it anymore. I’m glad you changed, I’m glad you are now able to be a better person than you once were. That’s a wonderful thing, it’s wonderful news, and I congratulate you on that. But I’m done, because I just don’t want to continue with it. I can’t say forever, because my views may change over time as well; but for right now, this is how I feel about it.

Scott’s coming over tonight…I’ve got some beer, I’m not sure what all we’ll do, maybe watch a movie, maybe just listen to music and shoot the shit, maybe even go to the mall or something.

Quilled Tunes: “WWIII” - KMFDM

"WWIII"

I declare war on the world
War in outer space
I declare war in a nutshell
War all over the place

I declare war on every government
War against all odds
I declare war on your inner sanctum
On your blood thirsty gods

I declare war on the axis of morons
All out war on complacent consent
I declare war on the war against drugs
Rape and Slaughter of the innocent

War on big brother
Warmongers and profiteers
War on your dogma dubya
Armageddon's engineers

War in a heartbeat
I declare war on so-called civilization
World trade globalization
Organized desinformation

War on ambassadors of pretense
War on MTV and CNN
Macdonald's walt disney and bethlehem
On christina britney and eminem

I declare war on the world of anti-choice
On violent unilaterality
On the amassment of murderous high-tech toys
And all crimes against humanity

War on the moral majority
On corparate.com imperialism
On mindlessly bumbling stupidity
And police-state terrorism

Worldwar three - be all that you can be

Monday, November 29, 2004

...back in action...

Well, I had a wonderful holiday. Thanksgiving was filled with so much food…turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, rolls, and pie mmmmm. Plus, it was actually nice to have some time off work Thursday and Friday.

In addition to that, I’ve been given the painting takeoff for the Isley Brothers job. I also had one of the biggest business lunches I’ve had yet today after the meeting down at the old Planet Hollywood.

Saturday, we went over to Andrea’s place and watched “Dead Alive”, one of Peter Jackson’s early horror/zombie flicks. It was funny in the gore-sense; but it was a “bad” movie. We’re talking a “W” movie here, which is a league below a “B” movie. But hey, it supposedly has a cult following, and it did remind me of Evil Dead a lot.

Corey has testicular cancer. Yes, you read that correctly; no, that’s not a joke. He found a lump/cyst/whatever, and the doctors said he’d have to have it removed at some point. Corey, my condolences go out to you, as well as my support, at this time. (My nuts hurt just THINKING about it.)

Francesca’s blog is reading really depressing lately. It’s like Edgar Allen Poe incarnate or something. It’s actually painful to even READ at this point. I understand she’s in a bad place right now; I realize and understand she’s in great emotional pain; and I know she wrongly blames herself for Jay being a total asshole. I also understand that these blogs, like any journal, help you vent and clear the air and mind. It’s just a very depressing read. Hell, none of this is even my business, and I know that. It’s just…mind-boggling how Jay goes off and cheats on her, as he’s done countless times before to other girls, and somehow she blames herself for hurting him. I don’t understand that. I know several people say I’ve got Jay all wrong, but I watched him do this; he bragged about doing it like it was something to be proud of. And I’m not alone.

In other news, Heather is a friend to Mandy Dimitro again. I have no idea why. However, it’s Heather’s decision, and I would never stand in the way of her friendships. I just hope she doesn’t backstab Heather again. We’ll know soon enough.

I owe Amanda Duncan an apology…I lumped her into the whole Temple/Order/Thelema rant of mine defending Nix. I’m sorry, Amanda.

Quilled Tunes: “Personal Jesus” – Gravity Kills

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

...prelude to gluttony...

Well, it's the day before Thanksgiving, or "Turkey Eve". It's snowing outside, it's cold and wet, and I wore a short-sleeved shirt today. Good thing I have a high tolerance for cold or I'd be miserable. By the way, click on the title of today's entry for a holiday treat...

Heather is coming to the office today to go to lunch. I love her so much; she's the greatest. She gave up going to Casa with her co-workers for drinks for me. Thank you so much, baby! I love you!

Tomorrow is my second favorite holiday. I am going to eat like you wouldn't believe...oh yes, it's going to be sweet! Although the name of the chemical existent in turkey eludes me at the moment, I'm going to have well over 50% of my body permeated with it by tomorrow night.

Tonight is hanging out over at Joe's. 'Smallville' will still be viewed, and then after more of a party-type deal. Good times.

I want to take this time to say some things to some people:

@Tom: I am forever impressed with your drive and determination on the job/school front. Keep it up, man.
@Anna: I'm sorry you're going through rough times. If you need someone to talk to, you know how to get ahold of me.
@Jon: There's got to be a female out there that can appreciate your kindness and your genius, dude...don't give in to despair.
@Scott: I'm sorry business is shitty. You have the skills to do the job, so it's not YOU, it's those stupid "mothernixers" in Washington.
@Nix: As I said, you have more backing than you know right now, and that includes the elite in the Juice.
@Fran: Feel better soon...
@Everyone else: Have a joyous, warm, and safe Thanksgiving holiday.

Well, now I must go to work on even more work-type stuff. Just wanted to come on and give everyone holiday wishes.

Quilled Tunes:
"Down In It" - Nine Inch Nails
"Epic" - Faith No More

Quote of the Blog: "The possible's slow fuse is lit, by the Imagination." - Emily Dickinson

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

...drama continues, and I may yet have a role to play...

Hey boys and girls, another posting.

@Heather: Can't wait for tonight...

The Seinfeld DVD sets of the first three seasons came out today. Heather and I go to purchase them tonight. *drools* Hey, what can I say? It's a damn good and funny show...and I'm addicted to it.

Work is going awesome; I'm becoming more and more involved in some of the bigger projects, and I'm continuing to learn more and more as I go. I'm also almost ready to begin that rumored data-base building task here...I think...

In other news, Nix is being threatened. This guy, Sean (who sounds like a cool guy in general), is threatening him because of comments he originally made towards Allister Crowley and the religion of Thelema. Now, I'm Christian, and I'm forever listening to people diss MY beliefs and faith, so I give people the curtousy of not dissing theirs. So, it irks me just a tad when someone does that to someone else. Hell, Nix wasn't even really serious - he disses on everything, which is much like my way with things. Apparently, with Thelema, you can hex and curse people, which is another thing being threatened besides the physical violence. There were some other things, such as belief that Nix almost got Scott arrested, and that he was abusing Beaver, but mainly, it all stemmed from a joke made about Crowley. Do I dare risk crossing and being "cursed" by an angry Thelemite - or a congregation of Thelemites - by taking a stand against such an injustice?...

...you bet your sweet ass I do. 1) Nix is my friend, and I don't like it when my friends get threatened with death and curses for NO GOOD REASON. 2) I don't think it's cool to chastize someone for their personal view of a faith system, especially when YOUR faith system is in a minority to begin with and preaches tolerance of differences. Funny how everything Thelemites seem to hate about Christians and their hypocrisy is being echoed here.

Now, Amanda, Scott's girlfriend, is a Thelemite and in Sean's temple. She might get pissy about my stance on this, due to a loyalty factor, so let me make something clear: I'm not out to dog on or attack Thelema. I have ultimate tolerance for practically every faith system I've come across, even if I completely disagreed with it. This isn't a threat from me to the religion, the temple, Sean or others. However, as I said, Nix is my friend - and as the new 'Juicer', surrogate family to me - and it doesn't matter to me if you're Jewish, Catholic, Atheist, Satanist, Thelemite, Wiccan, Pagan, or whatever; no one threatens my own without damn good reason. No one.

And lest some think that I have nothing to combat with - yeah, you just keep on thinking that.

@Nix: I have your back 2,000,000% in this...and if they so much as lay a finger - astral or otherwise - on you or yours, I will bring this fight to their doorstep.

Quilled Tunes: "In The End" - Linkin Park

Quote of the Blog: "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Monday, November 22, 2004

...Cape Trip Aftermath...

@Heather: I am more proud of you than you know. Even though you’re not exactly where you want to be, you’re still making it. Things will work out for you; do not give up. I am there for you no matter what stresses you go through; I will never abandon you. In my eyes, my successes pale in comparison to yours. I love you.

Well, my weekend experience with Beaver in Cape was both fun and interesting. Here’s the recap:

Friday:

I left St. Louis around 6 pm and got there around 7:45. I got there; passed Beaver’s apartment building once, doubled back, and I had arrived. Beaver’s apartment was…disgusting. He hadn’t cleaned the place since he moved in at the beginning of the semester. That is not a joke. The bathroom, the sinks, everything was filthy. We went to dinner at Applebee’s, and then I forced Beaver to go to Wal-mart for cleaning supplies. Then, I taught Dan a thing or two about keeping his shit clean. He seemed very grateful and into it, so I see it as a good thing. We visited a couple of bars (more like dives) and then ended up going BACK to Wal-mart for even MORE cleaning stuff and a BED for me to sleep on (I had planned on sleeping on the floor, but that was disgusting too, and Dan couldn’t buy a vacuum). We found a surprisingly comfortable camping cot for around $34. We watched Friday part 7.

Saturday:

We woke up, and went to eat. Then, we visited the comic shop and Len. We went to Hastings. We hung out at Dan’s place after that, watching TV, joking back and forth, and then watching a movie. We then went to dinner with Len at this barbeque place. After that, more hanging around Dan’s place, reminiscing about old times, and me taking Dan’s paintballs guns apart for amusement. Around 11, we went to hang out at a party some of Dan’s friends were throwing. I allowed Dan to talk me into making that most evil of drinks, the Annihilator. This drink severely messed up one of Dan’s friends, Alex, and it also put the hurt on the two of us as well. Whenever I drink heavy like that, I always say to myself, “I’m never drinking again.” I swear, this last time makes me seriously consider it for real. Anyone who’s had this drink understands the potency of it, the shear alcoholic Armageddon that runs rampant through your body when you drink it. It’s the drink of the Apocalypse; the four horsemen weren’t cutting it, so they got fired and replaced with the Annihilator.

Sunday:

Woke up around 1 pm. Went to eat. Rested more for the drive home. Came home. Had dinner with my beautiful and wonderful wife. Felt sick for most of the day. End weekend sequence.

And that was my trip. It was good to visit Beaver; he really seemed to appreciate it. I recommend the rest of you find time to go visit him sometime. He now has a bed for you to sleep on, anyway. And hopefully, a better sense of the concept of clean.

There's a website that Jay posted on his blog, called "Sorry Everybody". Basically, it's a site where you can post pictures of yourself apologizing to the rest of the world for the re-election of Dubya The Idiotic. I'm going to join it. Damn right we owe an apology to everyone; after all, 51% of our nation are responsible for every shitty thing he does for the next four years, and it's a guarenteed fact that he WILL do shitty things.
  • Sorry Everybody


  • Quilled Tunes: “Soul Creation” - Cinder

    Friday, November 19, 2004

    ...something of substance...

    Tonight, I’m driving down to Cape Girardeau to visit Beaver. As of right now, I don’t know whether I’m driving down alone or going with someone, but either way I’m going. There’s going to be drinking involved at least one of those nights…

    @Heather: I hope you have a wonderful weekend, baby! I love you! Don't have too much fun without me... :)

    Speaking of Heather, she is doing excellent in her working out/exercising thing. She's really shedding the weight, and sometimes I don't tell her enough how good she looks and looking better every day. Baby, you're doing great, congratulations. (This means more of my hard-earned cash for new outfits for her, but it's worth her being happy with herself.) <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

    Yesterday’s post was a little confusing. There are just a handful of situations that are just so dumb and stupid I can’t believe it. I won’t name them here, because several of them are situations people who read this blog are in, and I’d rather not be jumped on. In fact, I probably won’t talk about them outside this journal, either, save for a couple of people.

    I will describe it in the same way I described it to Joe. I seem to be surrounded by dumb. Sometimes, it feels like an ocean of dumb, and I’m drowning in it. And when I finally try to take a breath, much like real drowning, I breathe in dumb instead of air. Tom, John, Anna…if you guys are curious, email me and I shall tell.

    Quilled Tunes: “Trapped Under Ice” – Metallica

    Quote of the Blog: “If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost.” – Aristotle

    Thursday, November 18, 2004

    ...I see dumb people...

    I am continuously surrounded by dumbness and even dumber situations. Help me…

    Quilled Tunes: “Skurk” – KMFDM

    Wednesday, November 17, 2004

    The KOQ Message Board

  • KOQ Message Board


  • Check out my forum of satire and insults…please. :)

    Quilled Tunes: “Bring It” - Soulfly

    Tuesday, November 16, 2004

    ...late post, but still interesting...

    I forgot to mention that Heather bought me my weight set yesterday. Oops. Bad Quill, no donut. Seriously though, thank you Heather; I love you oh so much…

    I am feening for the next Dark Tower book. I was told to wait for the paperbacks, for price reasons, but I am getting antsy. Now I know how all the other people in the world felt in the beginning years of the series. Actually, what I’d like to do is read the Dark Tower series along with all the connected works too…that’s a lot of reading, but I love reading anyway.

    I apologize for the lateness of my post today.

    Quilled Tunes: “Guilty” – Gravity Kills

    Monday, November 15, 2004

    ...several things of note...

    It was a good weekend. We ended up having more people over Saturday night than we expected, but it was an awesome time. The ‘Battle of the Sexes’ board game STILL sucks ass if you’re male. I swear that game is biased toward women…

    We went to see “The Grudge” last night. I was not impressed. I should have expected this, as Erich claims it is one of the scariest movies he’s seen in awhile. No offense to the guy. I just don’t think he has a handle on what’s a “good” horror flick sometimes…I can say that because I do have a handle on it.

    I finally got my workout equipment going. I now own a 7-foot Olympic barbell set. I cannot wait to start killing myself with it…

    The road-trip to Cape is coming up. So far, it’s me, Joe, and Scuba going down to visit Beaver. Apparently, there’s a party that one of Dan’s friends is throwing down there that we are invited to.

    In other news, I am finally free of the Council (for real this time). I left earlier today. I have taken all of the censorship and hypocrisy that I can stand. I don’t need to deal with that shit. I have the Bug-Juice Forum, where I can freely voice my opinion without being told to ‘shut up’ every five minutes by “certain” people.

    That’s all for now.

    Quilled Tunes: “Hey Now” - Tantric

    Friday, November 12, 2004

    ...a place to go...

    Have a great weekend, everybody!

  • LaClair Construction Services


  • I know I've said this before, but...I love my job! :)

    Quilled Tunes: "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams" - Greenday

    Thursday, November 11, 2004

    Kerry Won. Here are the Facts.

    Kerry Won.
    Here are the Facts.
    TomPaine.com
    Friday, November 5, 2004
    by Greg Palast

    I know you don't want to hear it. You can't face one more hung chad. But I don't have a choice. As a journalist examining that messy sausage called American democracy, it's my job to tell you who got the most votes in the deciding states. Tuesday, in Ohio and New Mexico, it was John Kerry.

    Most voters in Ohio thought they were voting for Kerry. At 1:05 a.m. Wednesday morning, CNN's exit poll showed Kerry beating Bush among Ohio women by 53 percent to 47 percent. The exit polls were later combined with—and therefore contaminated by—the tabulated results, ultimately becoming a mirror of the apparent actual vote. Kerry also defeated Bush among Ohio's male voters 51 percent to 49 percent. Unless a third gender voted in Ohio, Kerry took the state.

    So what's going on here? Answer: the exit polls are accurate. Pollsters ask, "Who did you vote for?" Unfortunately, they don't ask the crucial, question, "Was your vote counted?" The voters don't know.

    Here's why. Although the exit polls show that most voters in Ohio punched cards for Kerry-Edwards, thousands of these votes were simply not recorded. This was predictable and it was predicted. [See TomPaine.com, "An Election Spoiled Rotten," November 1.]

    Once again, at the heart of the Ohio uncounted vote game are, I'm sorry to report, hanging chads and pregnant chads, plus some other ballot tricks old and new.

    The election in Ohio was not decided by the voters but by something called "spoilage." Typically in the United States, about 3 percent of the vote is voided, just thrown away, not recorded. When the bobble-head boobs on the tube tell you Ohio or any state was won by 51 percent to 49 percent, don't you believe it ... it has never happened in the United States, because the total never reaches a neat 100 percent. The television totals simply subtract out the spoiled vote.

    Whose Votes Are Discarded?

    And not all votes spoil equally. Most of those votes, say every official report, come from African-American and minority precincts. (To learn more, click here.)

    We saw this in Florida in 2000. Exit polls showed Gore with a plurality of at least 50,000, but it didn't match the official count. That's because the official, Secretary of State Katherine Harris, excluded 179,855 spoiled votes. In Florida, as in Ohio, most of these votes lost were cast on punch cards where the hole wasn't punched through completely—leaving a 'hanging chad,'—or was punched extra times. Whose cards were discarded? Expert statisticians investigating spoilage for the government calculated that 54 percent of the ballots thrown in the dumpster were cast by black folks. (To read the report from the U.S. Civil Rights Commission, click here .)

    And here's the key: Florida is terribly typical. The majority of ballots thrown out (there will be nearly 2 million tossed out from Tuesday's election) will have been cast by African American and other minority citizens.

    So here we go again. Or, here we don't go again. Because unlike last time, Democrats aren't even asking Ohio to count these cards with the not-quite-punched holes (called "undervotes" in the voting biz). Nor are they demanding we look at the "overvotes" where voter intent may be discerned.

    Ohio is one of the last states in America to still use the vote-spoiling punch-card machines. And the Secretary of State of Ohio, J. Kenneth Blackwell, wrote before the election, “the possibility of a close election with punch cards as the state’s primary voting device invites a Florida-like calamity.”

    But this week, Blackwell, a rabidly partisan Republican, has warmed up to the result of sticking with machines that have a habit of eating Democratic votes. When asked if he feared being this year's Katherine Harris, Blackwell noted that Ms. Fix-it's efforts landed her a seat in Congress.

    Exactly how many votes were lost to spoilage this time? Blackwell's office, notably, won't say, though the law requires it be reported. Hmm. But we know that last time, the total of Ohio votes discarded reached a democracy-damaging 1.96 percent. The machines produced their typical loss—that's 110,000 votes—overwhelmingly Democratic.

    The Impact Of Challenges

    First and foremost, Kerry was had by chads. But the Democrat wasn't punched out by punch cards alone. There were also the 'challenges.' That's a polite word for the Republican Party of Ohio's use of an old Ku Klux Klan technique: the attempt to block thousands of voters of color at the polls. In Ohio, Wisconsin and Florida, the GOP laid plans for poll workers to ambush citizens under arcane laws—almost never used—allowing party-designated poll watchers to finger individual voters and demand they be denied a ballot. The Ohio courts were horrified and federal law prohibits targeting of voters where race is a factor in the challenge. But our Supreme Court was prepared to let Republicans stand in the voting booth door.

    In the end, the challenges were not overwhelming, but they were there. Many apparently resulted in voters getting these funky "provisional" ballots—a kind of voting placebo—which may or may not be counted. Blackwell estimates there were 175,000; Democrats say 250,000. Pick your number. But as challenges were aimed at minorities, no one doubts these are, again, overwhelmingly Democratic. Count them up, add in the spoiled punch cards (easy to tally with the human eye in a recount), and the totals begin to match the exit polls; and, golly, you've got yourself a new president. Remember, Bush won by 136,483 votes in Ohio.

    Enchanted State's Enchanted Vote

    Now, on to New Mexico, where a Kerry plurality—if all votes are counted—is more obvious still. Before the election, in TomPaine.com, I wrote, "John Kerry is down by several thousand votes in New Mexico, though not one ballot has yet been counted."

    How did that happen? It's the spoilage, stupid; and the provisional ballots.

    CNN said George Bush took New Mexico by 11,620 votes. Again, the network total added up to that miraculous, and non-existent, '100 percent' of ballots cast.

    New Mexico reported in the last race a spoilage rate of 2.68 percent, votes lost almost entirely in Hispanic, Native American and poor precincts—Democratic turf. From Tuesday's vote, assuming the same ballot-loss rate, we can expect to see 18,000 ballots in the spoilage bin.

    Spoilage has a very Democratic look in New Mexico. Hispanic voters in the Enchanted State, who voted more than two to one for Kerry, are five times as likely to have their vote spoil as a white voter. Counting these uncounted votes would easily overtake the Bush 'plurality.'

    Already, the election-bending effects of spoilage are popping up in the election stats, exactly where we'd expect them: in heavily Hispanic areas controlled by Republican elections officials. Chaves County, in the "Little Texas" area of New Mexico, has a 44 percent Hispanic population, plus African Americans and Native Americans, yet George Bush "won" there 68 percent to 31 percent.

    I spoke with Chaves' Republican county clerk before the election, and he told me that this huge spoilage rate among Hispanics simply indicated that such people simply can't make up their minds on the choice of candidate for president. Oddly, these brown people drive across the desert to register their indecision in a voting booth.

    Now, let's add in the effect on the New Mexico tally of provisional ballots.

    "They were handing them out like candy," Albuquerque journalist Renee Blake reported of provisional ballots. About 20,000 were given out. Who got them?

    Santiago Juarez who ran the "Faithful Citizenship" program for the Catholic Archdiocese in New Mexico, told me that "his" voters, poor Hispanics, whom he identified as solid Kerry supporters, were handed the iffy provisional ballots. Hispanics were given provbisional ballots, rather than the countable kind "almost religiously," he said, at polling stations when there was the least question about a voter's identification. Some voters, Santiago said, were simply turned away.

    Your Kerry Victory Party

    So we can call Ohio and New Mexico for John Kerry—if we count all the votes.

    But that won't happen. Despite the Democratic Party's pledge, the leadership this time gave in to racial disenfranchisement once again. Why? No doubt, the Democrats know darn well that counting all the spoiled and provisional ballots will require the cooperation of Ohio's Secretary of State, Blackwell. He will ultimately decide which spoiled and provisional ballots get tallied. Blackwell, hankering to step into Kate Harris' political pumps, is unlikely to permit anything close to a full count. Also, Democratic leadership knows darn well the media would punish the party for demanding a full count.

    What now? Kerry won, so hold your victory party. But make sure the shades are down: it may be become illegal to demand a full vote count under PATRIOT Act III.

    I used to write a column for the Guardian papers in London. Several friends have asked me if I will again leave the country. In light of the failure—a second time—to count all the votes, that won't be necessary. My country has left me.

    Greg Palast, contributing editor to Harper's magazine, investigated the manipulation of the vote for BBC Television's Newsnight. The documentary, "Bush Family Fortunes," based on his New York Times bestseller, The Best Democracy Money Can Buy, is now available on DVD. View a clip at http://www.gregpalast.com/bff-dvd.htm

    (Found @ http://www.gregpalast.com/detail.cfm?artid=392&row=0)

    Wednesday, November 10, 2004

    ...something appropriate...

    Mirrodin Plains
    White Magic, Healing and Protection. with charisma
    and charm white mages make both great leaders
    and the best followers. white mages however,
    believe in fighting less and in life more, and
    as such arent as offensive as the other four
    colors. however, if they must, white mages can
    come together to defend against the most
    relentless attackers. and remember, there is
    no fury like that of a righteous man.


    What color of Magic are you best suited for?
    brought to you by Quizilla

    I would say that's accurate.

    Quilled Tunes: "Disintegrate" - Gravity Kills

    Tuesday, November 09, 2004

    ...concert bummer; I love my job; weight training...

    Well, I didn’t go to the Fear Factory concert last night. But that’s okay, I’m not absolutely torn up about it. I know at least I have the Scarlet Whore show to look forward to, and from what I hear from Scott and Rob; I will not be disappointed at all. I’ll have to ask Hizzy how the show was.

    Work is going well. I’m eagerly awaiting the arrival of a project that I will be working with Mark on. We’re still waiting on the drawings to be delivered, but once they are, it’ll be fun. I can’t wait.

    Some might think it’s odd being that excited about work, but I love being given tasks like that after so long a period without doing anything connected to my degree. In fact, I’m skipping lunch today to work on some extra stuff. I love it.

    There’s this great 7’ Olympic quality weight lifting bar and weights at Wal-Mart for a good price…I think we’re going to go for it, but I’m not completely sure yet. I’m going to have to shop around just a little more. I do like that bar though…

    Quilled Tunes: “The Red” - Chevelle

    Monday, November 08, 2004

    ...Fear Factory...

    Well, the weekend was good. My friends Brent and Matt came over Saturday night, along with Brent’s brother Eric. We played “Worst Case Scenario” and we made the game into a sort of storyline with what was going on. I got electrocuted, became an alcoholic, and was set on fire. Heather was kidnapped, and got the Ebola virus. Don’t ask.

    Tonight is the Fear Factory show. Children of Bodom and Lamb of God are playing as well. I’m looking forward to this; I haven’t been to a concert in so long. It’s up in the air whether Dave is going or not; something happened to his leg, and he’s leery about moshing on it, which I understand. If Dave isn’t going, I don’t know if I’ll spend the entire time in the pit – but we’ll see. I’m going to be thrilled just to see a live show again…

    Hizzy got a new hard drive with a shitload of sweet stuff on it. That’s good for me; I will get to copy music and books and porn games and whatnot. I will be getting her a copy of much GK music as a trade gift. Trust me, the stuff I have that’s GK, Hizzy couldn’t find if she searched for a million years. But then, she has Slayer and Pantera stuff I could never dream about, so it all balances out.

    Quilled Tunes: “Demanufacture” – Fear Factory

    Friday, November 05, 2004

    ...shortest post yet...

    I don’t really have anything to say today. Work is busy today, so I don’t have time to go on and on about things.

    @Heather: I love you – I have no idea what is up for tonight. We’ll have fun, though.

    Quilled Tunes: “Blind” - Korn

    Thursday, November 04, 2004

    ...my voice continues & why...

    Yesterday, I harbored a lot of anger and hatred towards those that gave re-election to Bush. In a very large way, I still do. But I must not let this divide relationships, friendships, and family from my life. In the increasingly-wise words of a man I personally consider MY president:

    “Earlier today, I spoke to President Bush, and I offered him and Laura our congratulations on their victory. We had a good conversation and we talked about the danger of division in our country and the need – the desperate need – for unity, for finding the common ground, coming together. Today, I hope that we can begin the healing.”

    I agree with this. I agree that Bush and Kerry supporters alike must now, somehow, band together and survive the next four years. I still mean every word I said yesterday: every fault claim, every ‘fuck you’. I will not take those back. However, the only thing to do now, for all of us, is keep on keeping on. As I said, ‘you’ll see’…history will show that this was the wrong choice. Bush will be consistent in his actions and his legacy will be carved in solid stone, and the country, and the world, will know – not think, but KNOW – that he was, and is, a terrible leader.

    I realized in this election that I had a strong voice, which I was able to use to argue in favor of Kerry on forums and chat boards and influence things. I was able to turn people around, not for myself, but for the good of all of us. For the first time in my life, I got behind a cause and pushed with every ounce of breath in my body, and despite the fact that it did not turn the tide I did make a dent. My voice was heard. My voice was strong. Sometimes my voice was annoying. But I nonetheless was able to make a difference.

    To Bush, and all the Bush voters: the presidency has been conceded to you. But that is all you have gained. You have not gained the position of being “right.” As I still hold breath in my lungs, you have not won that position.

    Yes, I beat the dead horse at this point. I beat it because I believe in rights for gays and for abortions. I believe in jobs, healthcare, for my friends, for the people, for America. I beat it because I believe in the power that one person can have in the long run. Bush has, somehow, remained in our service as president, and as one of his many employers I take the position that if he works for America, he will do what we tell him to do for us. He will listen to the gays; he will listen to the women who want the right for abortion; he will listen to the throes that cry out for jobs and healthcare; so help me God he will listen to me, to you, to every single citizen in this country – because that’s what he was hired to do by 51% of us. It’s his job, and it is not unfair or questionable that we ask him to act in OUR best interest. He will listen, or I – WE – will scream until he does.

    *********************************************

    Last night was guy’s night. For most of the night, it was just Scott, Joe, and I. Corey never showed, and I don’t know if Dave showed up later in the night after I left. T-Bob showed up around 11 or so, driven by Andrea. Andrea stuck around…which normally wouldn’t be a problem, except that it was a guy’s night. Something like this could get me in trouble with Heather, so I’m saying this now:

    @Heather: I didn’t get a chance to tell you last night, or this morning, but Andrea was there last night. I’m going to tell you when I get home, so don’t worry.

    I wasn’t exactly thrilled with it, but what can I do, it wasn’t my place, ya know? To her credit, she apologized several times for sticking around, which I appreciated…but if it’s a guy’s night, and you’re a girl, and you acknowledge that you shouldn’t be sticking around and you stick around anyway…well, I’m just saying there’s something fucked up there. Seriously. I’m not pissed about it; so don’t take it that way.

    The Fear Factory concert is closer. I have post-election aggression to work off, so a mosh-pit is just what the doctor ordered at this point. I shall pretend everyone in the pit is Bush…:)

    Quilled Tunes:
    “Reach For The Sky” – Social Distortion
    “Look What You’ve Done” - Jet

    Quote of the Blog: “Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.” – George Washington

    Wednesday, November 03, 2004

    ...Echoes of a hope gone...

    *EDIT* Kerry has conceded. There was no option; he was losing. Bush has been re-elected. The nightmare continues.

    I got my CDs from BMG Music Club. Smile Empty Soul, Nickelback, Saliva, and 3 Doors Down. God I love getting new music. Not that I don’t love the music I already have, mind you.

    This coming Monday is the Fear Factory concert. I believe Dave will still be going as well. I cannot wait. It will truly be a joy facing him in the pit.

    I don’t know what else to say. My very good friend, Tom Hunt, from Springfield, had this to say about the election, and I agree with him completely (if, in fact, Bush won):

    “The American people, having pretty well come out in support of pigfucker number one, deserve every shitty thing that happens to us over the next four years.

    Bush voters, the blood of every person who dies in Iraq is on your hands.

    Bush voters, every person who can't get health insurance and dies suffers because of you.

    Bush voters, every person who has to get laid off and suffer due to recession is because of you.

    Bush voters, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer because of you.

    Bush voters, when we get attacked again--and it's a when, not an if--it's because of you.

    Bush voters, every gay person who gets beaten up, who is the victim of hatred--that's because of you.

    Bush voters, when your Social Security is gone, it's because of you.

    I no longer have faith in my countrymen. In fact, I have the opposite. Democracy only works when we don't have a bunch of lobotomized sheep voters, and the fuckers who make up my fellow Americans have blown any faith I had in them.

    Frankly, we deserve every shitty thing that happens to the American people over the next four years. We deserve it because we have chosen a group of leaders who consistently lie and deceive us. We deserve it because we have chosen a group of leaders who decide first and then find reasons later.

    I love America, but I hate being part of a nation of people who don't really understand what that means. We're willing to give our liberties away for safety, when our founding fathers told us not to.

    It's another four years of shit, folks. Another four years where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, and no one does anything to change things.

    We deserve our polluted oceans and land. We deserve it all, because we have chosen Bush.” – Tom Hunt

    I am largely a fair and reasonable person. I fully believe that a person has the right to vote as he/she pleases. However, I share Tom’s attitude in this matter regardless. Fuck you, to anyone who voted for George W. Bush. Fuck you, for dooming our nation to another four years of misery. Fuck you people, for voting for the WORST leader we’ve EVER had. In short, to ANYONE who voted for Bush: Fuck you. I mean that in THE MOST personal way; and I’m NOT sorry for saying it at all. FUCK YOU. And yes, I mean that to everyone that voted for Bush. Everyone. Fuck the living shit out of each and every single one of you. I don't care if you're my friend, enemy, or stranger on the street. I mean it.

    To ALL Bush voters:

    The blood of all the soliders in Iraq; the innocent people to be killed with more ‘pre-emptive’ strikes; it’s on YOUR hands.

    When decent people like Shark, and Pheonix’s husband are sent away to war to DIE for the wrong reasons when they didn’t have to; I blame YOU. That’s YOUR fault.

    The next person to blow their life savings on medicine or an operation; the next person to die of disease or injury because they couldn’t pay; is YOUR fault.

    The next gay person to be a victim of a hate crime, or hatred in general; the misery of couples who now must continue to struggle; is YOUR fault.

    When our Freedom of Speech disappears; it’s YOUR fault.

    The next person that can’t find a job; gets laid off and can’t find other work because of our job market; that’s YOUR fault.

    The next batch of jobs that are outsourced overseas and replaced with lower paying jobs for our citizens; that’s YOUR fault.

    Thousands of people who are now denied the right to choose with abortion; that’s YOUR fault.

    When middle-class individuals have to tighten their belts so much that they can’t even breathe to make ends meet; that’s YOUR fault.

    When most of our “great new jobs” only pay the frozen-in-place minimum wage of $5.15 per hour; that’s YOUR fault.

    The next time a person dies or succumbs to spinal injuries, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, cancer; when people in YOUR OWN FAMILIES – your friends, your loved ones, even your spouse – are diagnosed with these ailments and afflictions and there IS NO CURE available to save them, to help them; that’s YOUR fault.

    When there is no Social Security left for you or I when we are older; that’s YOUR fault.

    The “moral” man that you’ve elected and chosen is leading this country to ruin. For all his morality, for all his compassion for people, he’s nevertheless lacking in the intelligence and judgment that should be required of our leader. Yet you elected him anyway.

    Four more years of a horrible economy. Four more years of civil rights being trampled on. Four more years of right wing, conservative oppression for gays, women, and minorities. Four more years of struggling for the lower and middle classes. Four more years of further decline for our healthcare system. Four more years of money being stolen from Social Security, money that is supposed to go to help the elderly. Four more years of wars which cause the rest of the world to hate us. Four more years of soldiers dying unnecessarily; men and women with families, men and women with children. Four more years of the worst decisions defended as being right and justified. Four more years of the richest people in our country living like kings, while the rest of us struggle and suffer. Four more years and beyond without cures for several diseases, due to bans on Stem Cell research; in fact, four more years of good, decent people suffering when there could easily be hope for them, a cure for them.

    When all these things take place and more, you’ll complain about them. You’ll complain about them and you’ll see.

    “Steve, you just don’t know when to quit, do you? You’re completely wrong about all that, or at least partially wrong.”

    Yeah? You’ll see.

    In my political posts in the past, I’ve ended several times with “God bless America.” Now I say:

    God save America.

    Quilled Tunes: “Silhouettes” – Smile Empty Soul

    Tuesday, November 02, 2004

    4 NEW Years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 100 UNDISPUTABLE Facts about the Bush Administration & 1 Opinion


  • On this Election Day, Bush supporters will tell you that Kerry is a flip-flopper, that he cannot be trusted with the security of our country. They will tell you that Kerry supporters believe that Kerry transcends fault, and that we who support Kerry blame everything on George W. Bush.

    I admit that not EVERY bad thing that has happened in this war is a direct result of Bush. However, do not forget how he rushed us into this war without the proper preparation to get the job done with the least amount of casualties. Do not forget about the way Bush LIED to the American people about WHY we were going into the war; and then later, in light of overwhelming evidence, boldly stated that he would do it all over again, the same way, had he known then what we know now – that he would repeat the mistake. Don’t forget how bad things have gotten for the middle class, with our jobs being shipped over seas. Do not forget the fact that Bush NEVER served in a war himself, but is so very eager to send other people’s children and fathers and mothers to war and put them at risk. Do not lose sight of the fact that even though good is being done in Iraq, the war is costing our country heavily. Do not lose sight of the fact that we began this “War On Terror” with a campaign against Al-Qaeda, and then suddenly attacked a country that had absolutely NOTHING to do with the 9/11 terror attacks. Do not forget the fact that under his watch, our healthcare system has fallen and is failing fast. Do not forget the fact that Bush has other pre-emptive strikes in mind for the future; he holds fast and true to his methods of how to lead his war, and he doesn’t plan on stopping it.

    They attack Kerry’s military record; at least Kerry HAS a record that shows that he was willing to put his own life on the line for the U.S. And no one can dispute that Vietnam was a war we should never have fought in the first place, and Kerry knew it then, before most people, and did the right and honorable thing; and Bush and Bush-supporters attack that (except for Francesca, of course). They attack Kerry on the flip-flopping issue; at least Kerry is a man who can alter and update his opinions and positions in light of new evidence, unlike Bush, who would defend colossal mistakes no matter what.

    Friends…Council members…you can’t honestly tell me that Bush has done a good job leading our nation. Forget about the war, set that aside. Look at the state of our country RIGHT HERE and NOW. Everything is falling apart. Just think of how damaging four more years with Bush in office could be. The right choice for president today, the ONLY good choice, is John Kerry. The absolute wrong choice is George W. Bush. You’ll either know that fact today, or a year or two down the line when he’s ruining this country further. You’ll know Kerry is the right man for the job, either way, sooner or later. Wouldn’t you rather know it sooner? Wouldn’t you rather vote for the right man?

    I am not an unintelligent drone like most people would lead you to believe, or like most voters you’ll run into at the polls. I was behind Bush in the days and weeks after 9/11 – I supported our president, and argued in his favor many times. I have researched the facts and looked at the hard evidence. I am NOT a democrat. I am NOT a republican. Like my parents, I vote for the man, not the party. And because of that, I always, without fail, seek out every angle that I can, so I don’t make the wrong choice. Bush, overall, is the wrong choice. Dante stated, in his most recent posting on the Council, and I quote:

    “Now go out and Vote Bush!!!!! BUSH IN 04 SEIG HILE!!!!!!!!!!”

    I couldn’t agree more, Dante…seig hile is EXACTLY the right thing to say about George W. Bush.

    IF you love our country, and what it stands for, vote for individual freedoms. Vote for freedom of speech, and the right to live your life on your OWN ideals, instead of the ideals of one man. Vote for a better tomorrow. Vote for the safety of our country. Vote for the safety of our boys at war. Vote for a better job market. Vote for a better economy. Vote for JOHN KERRY!!!!!!!!!!!

    **ADDITION** Originally posted as a comment on Pheonix's post:

  • Council Chambers - Pheonix: Fear For This Country


  • "IF you love our country, and what it stands for, vote for individual freedoms. Vote for freedom of speech, and the right to live your life on your OWN ideals, instead of the ideals of one man. Vote for a better tomorrow. Vote for the safety of our country. Vote for the safety of our boys at war. Vote for a better job market. Vote for a better economy. Vote for JOHN KERRY!!!!!!!!!!!"

    The above was part of my post "4 NEW Years" and I believe every word of it. I agree with you that Kerry, like all politicians, is not above personal motive and saying things to become elected. But do not forget that Bush and his administration is the reason things have gotten so bad; the reason that now, more than EVER before, the rest of the world hates the United States of America. We did not have this fear under the presidency of Bill Clinton. We did not have this fear under the presidency of George Bush Sr., although we DID have war. Bush Jr. is the ONLY president to actually USE the power of pre-emption, and unfortunately, we are now on dark times that seem to only grow darker over the horizon.

    I vote for Kerry not because I believe he is some righteous savior, exempt of being polluted or free from hypocrisy; I vote for Kerry because it's a chance for a better tomorrow. Under Bush, we will have four more years of turmoil and misery and an even worse fate after four years - a mess that we, in all likelihood, cannot fix or clean up. I'm not saying things aren't bad now, but it's better NOW than it WILL BE in four more years. With John Kerry, our great nation has the opportunity to begin a clean-up of the terrible messes caused by the as-of-now current administration.

    I understand your fears. I hear them. I share some of them. But unlike you, I have not lost my hope, and I know my voice can make a difference. I see the truth in front of my eyes; unhindered by propaganda, untainted by mud-slinging. I look at the hard facts of Kerry and of Bush. I see all that Bush has done. I see what Bush's administration has done to healthcare, to stem-cell research, to basic civil rights, to our soliders, to our nation's economy. I see all that Kerry has done that can be legitimately questioned; not the war-record, not the flip-flopping - but the questionable senate record. I look at all of it, setting aside all else, and I weigh the pros and the cons of having each in office. Bush has, UNDENIABLY, racked up an infinitely HIGHER list of cons than Kerry has. There IS a lesser of two evils. There IS a hope for our country.

    That hope is John Kerry. If you truly pray for our country, for Peter's future, for the life of your husband; then I join you in your prayers, for I believe that God will see us through this rough time. I believe that your prayers will be answered and John Kerry will be elected.

    Monday, November 01, 2004

    ...Halloween recap/fall-out...

    Well, the Halloween party was awesome, save for a few minor, minor issues (there always has to be something with this group). Heather drank everyone under the table (as was expected). To be honest, I was shocked she was able to stand on her own. Some highlights:

    1) Jason Gyrog came as Jesus Christ. A lot of Jesus jokes were made.
    2) Scott was actually tired and left early, which is something that happens once every millennium.
    3) Nix and Hizzy had private talks with several people over the course of the night, requesting that everyone go away that came around during. They sure like to have talks, even more so than Dave.
    4) Dave showed up after Heather and I left the party. There was drama, and for once, it wasn’t Dave’s fault.

    Let me elaborate on that last highlight: It is true, from all accounts, that Dave has a problem with Nix and Hizzy being together. Yes, it’s also true that Dave really doesn’t have the right to be pissed or bitch. However, Nix and Hizzy were the ones that broached the subject Saturday night/Sunday morning. Bad idea. That, of course, got Dave started talking about the matter. Without me being there to talk to him, as I had wanted to and as I had TOLD them to let me do. Therefore, Nix and Hizzy instigated the entire argument on Saturday/Sunday. I know this for a solid fact, because Hizzy was the one who told me that they started the talk about it, to “get it out of the way.”

    Funny thing, I heard that it’s believed that I ‘left Nix hanging’ for when Dave got there. Excuse me; my psychic powers that tell me that Dave is coming must be broken. Had I been there, I would have gladly talked to Dave, but I wasn’t. It’s not like I knew Dave was going to be there (hell, it was 2:00 a.m. when we left) since it was so late, and left just to abandon Nix and Hizzy. ‘It’s all your fault, Quill.’ That’s really getting old…

    I read this article; it’s about this little girl who has a genetic disorder that prevents her from feeling any pain. I’m thinking something similar to this might explain Corey’s reduced sensitivity to pain…
  • Girl With Rare Disease Doesn’t Know Pain


  • Dimitro responded to Friday’s blog. He has a problem with the power trip comment. Oh well. I call it as I see it.

    Tomorrow is November 2nd. It is the day when we discover who our president will be for the next four years. I have done all I can do to help the cause of our nation. I’ve posted on the Council, I’ve posted here, I’ve posted on blogs created just on the off-chance that someone might read and be enlightened, I’ve posted on political forums…now, the hour of truth is upon us. I have my all-black outfit all ready to go in the event that Bush is re-elected. I could go on and on about why, but the simple truth is: he’s the worst president this country has ever had. No one can convince me otherwise, and no one can prove otherwise, because they CAN'T disprove that statement. It has to be John Kerry. It has to be. I have avoided saying what I’m about to say just because I felt it a little harsh, but…if any one of you is voting for Bush, you’re responsible for the next unnecessary death of a solider. You’re responsible for more people losing their healthcare. You’re responsible for more jobs being taken from our citizens, and replaced by jobs with less pay and no benefits. You’re responsible for the demise of freedom of speech. You’re responsible for the innocents slaughtered with Bush’s next pre-emptive strike. You're responsible for the next person that has to struggle to make ends meet, to even FIND decent work. You’re responsible for letting this man continue to out-right ruin the United States of America. Yeah, I know, that’s a really ballsy and harsh statement for me to make. But it’s what I believe. I’m not going to hate anyone who votes for Bush; but I WILL believe what I just said, and I will stand by it.
    Make America great again. Vote John Kerry.

    Quilled Tunes: “Maybe Tomorrow” – Mesh-STL

    Quote of the Blog: “If you share my conviction that we can not go on as we are that we can make America stronger and safer than it is then November 2 is your chance to speak and to be heard. It is not a question of staying the course, but of changing the course.

    I'm convinced that with the right leadership, we can create a fresh start and move more effectively to accomplish our goals. Our troops have served with extraordinary courage and commitment. For their sake, and America's sake, we must get this right. We must do everything in our power to complete the mission and make America stronger at home and respected again in the world.” – John Kerry

    Quilled BONUS Quote:

    The Quilled Matrix