...news, news, let's talk news...

My blog used to be filled with all sorts of news tidbits. Not so much as of late, huh? I'm going to correct that...now.

Here's how this will work. I'm going to post a news link, and then add whatever I have to say about it below it. Some will be old news; some new; some out of left field. Wanna decipher what my comments mean? You can figure that part out, I think. (I hope. For your sake.)

http://money.cnn.com/2005/10/26/news/fortune500/walmart.reut/index.htm?cnn=yes
Oh yes...let's do THAT. You motherfuckers!

http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/10/26/odd.onion.reut/index.html
Waaaaah! We don't wanna be poked fun at anymore, waahhhh! Cry me a river, you assholes. You only COMPLAIN!! \m/ because there's truth in the jokes...

http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/TV/10/28/people.georgetakei.ap/index.html
...and this is unexpected news how?

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/11/03/brown.fema.emails/index.html
Yeah, I really feel for you...you were working so very hard, after all. Why don't you go fail miserably at yet another job?

http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/11/04/eminent.domain.ap/index.html
Thank you...now you're doing something useful and beneficial to the greater society...

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/americas/11/04/summit.protext.ap/index.html
I'm totally with you guys on this one. However, you can fucking keep him...

http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/science/11/10/godzilla.find/index.html
Heh. Thought Nix would appreciate this one. Pretty neat.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/11/10/religion.robertson.reut/index.html
Oh, Jesus tap-dancing Christ--! Oh, look! I'm sitting on my couch in my vehicular-type dwelling, snapping my fingers. A few months later, you stub your toe and break it...and guess what?!...I did that! Yes I did, yes I did, it was aaaallllll me! That's what you ge--oh, damn, wrong religion. (These are the people that were voted into office by morons who shouldn't be allowed to be left alone, much less vote someone into power. Thanks, all you wonderful Republicans and Republican-supporters. Thanks a lot.)

http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/11/11/bush.intel/index.html
It must be tiring grasping at all those straws, huh George? "Duh, what do I do? What would YOU do?? I got nothing but Iraq and the war on terra..."

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2005/more/11/14/obit.guerrero.ap/index.html?cnn=yes
R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/11/14/bush.asia.ap/index.html
Well, if you mean our troops are getting mixed feelings in light of your blatant incompetence and gross tendency for lies and deciet in all issues regarding a war we didn't have to send them into the line of fire for...then sure. (You fucking prick.)

http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/11/15/sexparty.mom.ap/index.html
Uh...what?

http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/11/14/bush.poll/index.html
Say what?? No. Come on. You're putting me on. No way!

http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/11/15/senate.iraq.ap/index.html
Good. It's about damn fucking time.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/space/11/15/china.moon.real.estate.reut/index.html
... Wow. That blows those bridge salesmen right out of the water.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WEATHER/11/16/severe.weather/index.html
(All together now...) "It's the end of the world as we know it...and I feel fiiiiiiiiiiinnnne..."

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/11/16/sparrow.domino.ap/index.html
You gotta be kidding me...that's some funny shit, though!

http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/11/16/woodward.leak/index.html
Uh, a tad bit late there, aren't we?

http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/internet/11/16/internet.summit.ap/index.html
Well that figures...we're already the most retarded country in the world, so why not put us in control of something so ripe for spawning countless retarded things (like Republican blogging, for instance; or fighting with someone on a forum board; did I say that out loud? Oops.)...


Well, hopefully some of you at least skimmed over the news articles to "get" the meat of my commentary. If you didn't, how lazy are you today, huh? Kidding. Or am I?


Quilled Tunes: "Bat Country" - Avenged Sevenfold