...and now, as if MY insults weren't enough...

So, as many of you know - some of you all-too well - my "thing" is insults and "being a smartass"...well, I found these great literary taunts to be amusing and very relevant to several people I know, as well as certain situations and issues of the last year or so. While I won't reveal WHO or WHAT each quote references, you guys should be smart enough to figure that part out. Should be...to be fair, I'll put asterisk (*) next to the quotes that reference actual people. You're welcome!

GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." --- Stephen Bishop *

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." -- Winston Churchill (about Clement Atlee) *

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." --- Irvin S. Cobb

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." --- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." ---
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)*

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." --- Samuel Johnson *

"He had delusions of adequacy." --- Walter Kerr *

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." --- Groucho Marx

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." --- Thomas Brackett Reed *

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." --- Forrest Tucker *

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." --- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." --- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." --- Oscar Wilde *

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." --- Oscar Wilde *

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." --- Billy Wilder ***