...a word about the right to say anything vs. holding your tongue...

The other day, Beaver posted on his journal, and the gist of it was this:

It’s MY blog, I will write about whatever and whoever I want, and if you don’t like it, don’t read it.

My response went thus:

@Dan: It IS your blog; you DO have every right to put in it whatever you want. I feel the same way about MY blog.

That being said, here's some food for thought:

Even though it's your personal blog, you must realize that it's available for the public eye; literally ANYONE with a computer and internet access can read it. That means that if you don't want someone to catch wind of what you think of them, it's not the smartest idea in the world to post about it. I'm not saying that you have done that, btw; I'm just saying.

Just saying, "This is my blog, if you don't like what I have to say, fuck you." is all good and well; but that won't stop others from forming their own opinions about what you have to say and any consequences or conflicts/fights that result.

My point in all this?

By all means, post your feelings and thoughts; but unless you want to put your foot in your mouth in a major way, a little filtering and discretion should be put into effect.

Sometimes, even if you're semi-justified in saying something, that doesn't necessarily mean you SHOULD. Remember - once you say something publicly, you can never UN-SAY it.

I know this because I took the "fuck you if you don't like it" policy with my blog at one time, and I quickly learned that censoring myself a bit saves me from generating conflicts for myself.

Also, you should accept that since you're posting your thoughts on a public blog for everyone to read, there's no way people are always going to shrug if off and be cool with it. If you say something about somebody that is super-offensive, they're going to take offense to it regardless of the fact that it was said about them in a personal blog. Because these blogs are public, it's just the same as saying it to their face in a room full of people for everyone to hear. (It would be different if it was a private journal.)

Like I said, it's free advice from someone who's been there, take it or leave it.

P.S. This comment might confuse some people. No, Dan and I are not friends; but we've mutually agreed to be civil. Hey, I post on Dante's blog and I'm none too civil to him...

This brings up a very good point that I felt I would address. Several of the people I know from over the years have blogs; and several of them, myself included, have gotten into trouble over certain things said. Pheonix, Hizzy, myself, and now Beaver, all took the stance of “Well, this is MY blog and I can rant about whatever I want, so fuck you/if you don’t like it, don’t visit it!”

But it’s not that cut and dry. Like my comment above states, these blogs ARE, in essence, supposed to be journals. But they’re NOT private journals for private thoughts. They are available for the public eye, to anyone who has a computer, and the fact that you say something about someone in them doesn’t exempt you from them taking offense to it.

PLEASE note, I stated that I am guilty of this myself, so I’m not being “unfair” or “biased” against anyone. The point of this isn’t to “single out” Beaver. I’m just talking about something that should be understood about what one could call “proper ‘blog ettiquette.’

The fact of the matter is, whether people like it or not, saying something offensive or cruel or embarrassing about someone in these blogs is EXACTLY the same as saying it to their face in a room full of people.

So, really, if you want to throw caution and discretion to the wind and say something that has the high possibility of pissing any number of people off, you can certainly do that. However, you shouldn’t bitch about it when it comes back to bite you in the ass.